Ferelden Nights
by nakuney
Summary: Phaedra Amell has never loved anyone as she loves her Bard. But, Leliana is in love with the Grey Warden. So,it appears. Rated T at first. M in later chapters. This story is a sort of slow burn. Please be patient, if it is just the smut you want this story is not for you. If love between women offends you, go no further.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do try and avoid these things, but they are a necessary evil. If you have read the story Under The Night Sky I had posted here, this story may seem familiar. In truth Under The Night Sky was supposed to be this story. i had written a long time ago, but couldn't find the notebook. Anyways, found the notebook and it had become the guidelines for this one.**

 **I do not own Dragon Age. Phaedra and Zarola are products of my imagination and guilty pleasure. As always, read, review and write. i hope you enjoy this story.**

* * *

Phaedra

I saw the red-headed bard gazing longingly at the Grey Warden Sasha Cousland, speaking with the other Grey Warden Alistair. I could tell it made her sad and hurt her greatly, but I could also sense her fear. I silently walked up to her side. "This hurts you, doesn't it? Seeing her flirt with Alistair." She started.

"Oh! Phaedra, I didn't hear you." She said in her beautiful Orlesian accent. I smiled at her. "I wouldn't be a very good Ranger if you had, now would I?" I teasingly ask her. She smiles my heart jumps. "No, I suppose you wouldn't be. Either that, or I'm not as good as I once was." She says to me.

I didn't want to pussyfoot around, I knew she really liked Sasha, but I wanted her to say it. Maybe then… I could forget the havoc she reaps upon my heart, mind, body, and soul. "You're afraid, aren't you? Afraid she may reject you or choose another? But you are also afraid of her choosing you? And if she did choose you, she may die." I told her.

She looks at me in surprise. "I'm amazed you can read me so well. However, there is more to my fears then just that." She says. I nod, I might as well go all out. "You are terrified to open up, and love again. I gather that the last time you opened your heart, someone trampled it." I share my observations. She nodded. "Marjolaine?" her eyes became wide with shock, then narrowed with suspicion. "Leliana, we share a tent. You talk in your sleep." I answered her unasked question.

She scoffed. "I do not!" she defended. "Yeah, you really do. Shall I recite some of the things you've said. Especially about the young teyrness, though that is mostly moaning." I said. She blushed, never was there such a beauty, as she, when she blushed. I decided to make it my prerogative to cause that blush to surface as much as possible, without seeming predatory. Her body grew tense as if worried.

"Don't worry Leliana, I am the only one who has ever heard you. A gift of my Elven heritage, or curse, depending on how you look at it. I give you my solemn oath as far as I know, I am the only one who knows of your…umm… special dreams. And I will take it to my grave." I raise my right hand swearing an oath. She relaxes and smiles.

"Thank you. Yes, it was Marjolaine who hurt me so deeply." She sighs as if not sure she wants to share that part of her life yet. "It's alright Leliana. You don't have to share that with me. A lady is entitled to a few closely guarded secrets." I said. She smiles. "A lady? You must have me confused with another." She says. I smile. "Never." I simply reply.

The blush creeps up her cheeks so fast, that I am surprised she doesn't realize she has stolen breath. "When it comes to Sasha, if we were to begin a relationship, I wouldn't know what to do. You know, if she left either by death or for another." She admits. I stare into the fire. "You would break. You'd feel like your heart and soul have been fragmented and tossed to all corners of Thedas. Food and drink would taste like ash. Life would seem to have no meaning or joy. That is the risk we all take when we open our hearts and lives to another." She stares at me aghast.

I continued unhindered by her outburst. "But eventually, you'd feel your heart mend, your soul stitch itself back together again. Sustenance would again taste as it should. You'd find meaning and joy in your life again. For such is the way of love." I finished. "I do not know if I would be strong enough." She says and turns her head away, I see the tears glistening. My heart aches for her, and my hand of its own accord cups her cheek.

I was unsure if she would mind, but I kept it there anyways. I turned her face to mine, and leaned into her and whispered in her ear. "You are an Orlesian Bard, a master of the Game. You are strong enough." I pull back. Her eyes staring into mine as if burning my soul. "Love. Love is worth the pain it might cause. Can you honestly imagine your life without her love in it?" I ask. I slowly pull back my hand. I walk away and go speak with Bodahn and Sandal. My heart heavy, she would choose Sasha. _"There is_ _no place for me as her love."_ I thought to myself.

* * *

Leliana

I watched her walk away, my mind reeling. _"How did she know I was a bard? What was that feeling I had when she touched me?"_ I thought. I saw her speak to Bodahn then Sandal, Bodahn nodded at her and Sandal smiled and began bouncing up and down. He was clearly excited about something. But now, my curiosity was peaked. What was it she said? I followed her figure as it headed to Morrigan's tent. Like Sasha, and myself in the beginning. She continually tried to befriend the witch.

" _Oh, Maker. Did Morrigan just smile."_ I was amazed, then I heard Morrigan laugh, barely. I felt slightly jealous now, I have tried several times to befriend that witch, and every time I have been met with haughtiness and disdain. I heard Sasha's footfalls coming up to me. I looked and smiled at her, she smiled back and looked in the direction of Phaedra as she went into the forest.

"Do you think we can trust her Leliana?" She asks. "We know next to nothing about that young woman. You're really good at reading people." She says. "I can't really read her. My gut tells me she is trustworthy. Is that why you put her in my tent, so I can keep an eye on her?" I ask. "Yes. But if you think she is trustworthy we can pick up another tent for her, and you wouldn't have to share anymore." She says.

I see her return from the forest 6 rabbits in hand, she must have cleared her traps. For some reason, the idea of her not sharing a tent with me anymore, did not sit well. I shook my head. "No. it's alright. Too many tents, attract too much attention." I replied to her. She nods. "Well, if you change your mind, let me know. Okay." I nod back. "I will." She pats my shoulder.

"I'll talk to you later Leliana. I am relieving Zevran from his watch. Sometimes, I wonder, why I even allowed him to live. Let alone ask him to join us. All that outrageous flirting and lecherous comments, can be a bit too much to handle." She said. I laughed. "As do I." I said.

My curiosity seemed centered around Phaedra. I turned and went into the tent I shared with her. I took off the metal pieces from my armor, and curled up in my bedroll. I could still feel Phaedra's hand on my cheek. It was a pleasant and warm feeling, and it brought a smile to my face.

The next night we were camped closer to Brecillian Forest. The Dalish were rumored to have a camp within. From what I heard the Dalish did not take too kindly to intruders, especially one with so many humans and a Qunari. Sasha decided a double watch may be necessary. Phaedra and I had drawn second watch. We were to relieve Morrigan and Sten.

Being so close to Phaedra, my mind burned with questions and curiosity. It had been at least thirty minutes since they had left, and I could no longer contain myself. "Phaedra. May I ask you something?" Her eyes never left the tree line. "Of course." She replies. "Why did you come looking for us again?" I ask. "It was merely by accident, I was exhausted and injured. You saw my wounds. I honestly thought I was wandering aimlessly and would die in the woods like my birth mother." She replies. She really was hurt badly.

* * *

Phaedra

"May I ask you another question?" she asks. I hide my expression. No sense in letting her know how pleased I was that she was curious about me. I look at her, her eyes meet mine. "Leliana, you may ask whatever you wish. I give you my word that I will answer honestly and to the best of my ability." I tell her. She nods. "You grew up with the Dalish Elves, I thought they hated all things human, even half-humans." She said. I think I got that she was asking how I came to be with the Dalish.

"Some generally do. Others could care less. Regardless, the Dalish would never allow a babe to die in the woods. The Keeper Marethari, brought me to their camp. Marethari, she was in the woods gathering herbs, when she came across my mother sitting against a tree. Marethari having a kind heart stopped to see if she could help. My mother told the Keeper, that her caravan was attacked by darkspawn." Leliana attentively listened to my story.

"Everyone had been killed, my father included. She had been shot by an archer, as she tried to get away with me. Another Dalish clan intervened, killed the darkspawn, but she wasn't seen. My mother asked Marethari to take me and not let me die in the woods. The Keeper asked my name as she took me in her arms." I told my story, pleased she cared.

"I was weak. The Keeper was not sure if I would survive the journey to the Chantry, so instead she decided to take me to her camp. She originally had just intended to make me strong enough and well enough to survive the trip to the Chantry." I told her. "Why did they end up raising you?" Leliana asks.

"As it usually happens when you nurse something or someone back to health, you get attached. I was no different, the more of the clan that cared for me the more they became attached. The whole clan raised me, amazed by my natural gifts with animals, my talents as a Ranger and craftsman. They took joy in teaching me because I loved to learn and learned well. Usually, they'd show me one thing and I could do it." I explained. "So why not go back to your clan? Why stay with us misfits?" Leliana asks. "Because. I was banished by the clan." I admitted. She looked confused.

As I had told you. "From the day Marethari found me and on she raised me as her own. At first the clan was not keen on the idea of a mutt among them, but little by little they grew to love and accept me as one of their own. Years passed as did many firsts of the Keeper, then one day an elven child was brought to us, her clan had already had a first and Marethari's last one had completed her training and was asked to join another clan as their keeper, their last one passed away and had no first. I was 8 and she was 6 being the third child born of magic in her clan, Alerion. It was decided after the Arlathvenn, the Dalish clans' gathering, she was given to our clan to be the new first." I explained.

"Merrill was kept separate from most of the clan. This was so she could learn the ways and history of the Keepers. I was going through hunter training with emphasis on being a Ranger, I had an affinity with animals could even speak to them, it is a very rare gift. Anyways, one night I had come home late from training I must have been 12 at the time. I heard weeping. I followed the sound to the forest 20 feet behind our tent. I came across a 10-year-old Merrill sitting on a log staring at the clan bonfire. I approached her slowly." I said. Leliana wasn't looking at me, but I could tell she was listening.

"' **Ir abelas, may I join you?'** I asked her she looked at me shyly. **'If you want to.'** She says. I sat next her. **'Da'len what causes you to weep so?'** I asked. **'I feel alone. No one will speak to me or play with me.'** She said. I scooted closer to her **. 'You are the First to the Keeper there is much for you to learn and with being the First, a certain amount of respect and space is given.'** I said, not entirely sure how to comfort her." I held the bard's attention still.

" **'I hate it. I wish I was never chosen as such.'** She said. **'Oh, Da'len I understand how you feel, I feel that way at times too. I am only a half-elf, loneliness I understand. It may not feel like it but learning the history of the elves and becoming a Keeper is a great gift. Elven history needs to be preserved and remembered for future generations.'** I said. **'What good is this knowledge if all it does is cause me nothing but loneliness and grief.** ' She said. **'One day you will understand it. I can't promise things will get easier, but I can promise to be here for you as a friend, a sister, someone to share what you feel and share my feelings with, and a shoulder to cry on.'** I had tentatively put my arm around her shoulders." I shared my memory with Leliana fondly.

"So, began what would become more than friendship. Years passed again, and what started out as friends become lovers. I loved her, and she loved me and we were happy. I became a Ranger and she took more joy in her lessons. It would not last, Merrill became curious in the darker side of magic, her thought was she should at least know about it in case she needed to stop our reverse whatever spell was done with it." I could see it before my eyes even as I spoke it.

"She got into blood magic?" Leliana asked. "It started with just a theoretical interest, but as you can imagine the clan began to fear her, and what do people tend to do when they fear what they don't understand?" I asked her. "Usually they try to get rid of the source of their fear." She said. "That they do and when it came to Merrill the clan saw it no differently. It had become known that Merrill and I were close. One day another hunter Pol approached me. He asked me to 'kill her she is an evil abomination' he said to me and I lost it and struck him, the clan clamored for me to be punished. Marethari approached me and asked me why." And now it was time for the painful part of my story.

"I explained about what Pol had said. She said, even though she understood my action, no clan member was to harm another. **'You should have curbed your temper and seen me first my child, and it pains me to do this, but I am afraid you are hereby banished from the clan. Know that you will always be my daughter.'** My mother said. **'May I say good bye to Merrill?'** I asked her. **'You can, but you must not tell her why you are leaving, she cannot know someone in the clan wishes her harm. I will try to steer her away from her dark path and do all I can to keep her safe.'** She had told me. When I went to seek her out I found her reading on a log by the stream, I could not think of what to tell her, so like a coward I said nothing and went back to camp, and located my belongings and left." I shared with her, my story now complete.

* * *

Leliana

Her story made me wish to weep, but for now, I could not. I grabbed Phaedra's hand. "I'm so sorry, Phaedra that is terrible, for them to turn on you after so many years." I said to her, trying my best comfort her. She smiles and squeezes my hand back. My heart began to race and then it slowed as I could feel her pulse through my hand. I was slightly surprised my heart beat began to match hers completely.

"It's alright it's been about a year now. I don't feel as alone anymore; I have all of you. I have purpose now. It takes time, but the heart eventually mends." She says and it's like I see her inner light shining through, brighter than ever before. We stood there, our hands clasped and watching the night clouds roll over Ferelden's sky. I felt at a loss when she let go of my hand.

She held her fingers to her lips. At first at the ready, then she sheathed her sword, just before Zevran and Alistair came into view. We nodded to each other and walked by. Heading to our joined tent. It somehow felt cozier now. We turned from each other and removed the metal bits of our armor. It was what we had done for months, maintaining silence as to never give our camp away. I looked behind me and caught a glimpse of Phaedra without her armor, and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. I prayed to the maker, that I would not talk in my sleep. For I knew Phaedra would spotlight in them tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

When I awoke a few hours later, I felt a slight weight on my middle. I looked to my right and was met with fiery red hair and the smell of jasmine. "I love this scent… what is it called again?... Andraste's Grace… mmm such a lovely smell." I smiled at her talking to herself. She was speaking Orlesian, but I could understand her. I placed my hand on top of hers and she woke up startled.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I just got a tad chilly last night and moved closer to you." She said. I smiled again. "It's quite alright, I don't mind feel free anytime." I replied. She shook her head awake. "Wait, you are speaking Orlesian." She said. "As were you. So, I just responded in the same language. You tend to speak Orlesian for the first 20 minutes after you wake up." I told her.

"I do?" she asks. I nod. "I wonder if I have always done that. No one has ever told me before. No wonder some of the camp look at me like I'm crazy in the morning." She said. "Alright, you two, it's time to begin the day. Let's pack up camp." We heard Sasha say. Just like that her warmth was gone. _"Such is life."_ I said to myself and got up and dressed as well.

It wasn't long before we were ready to move out. "So, Phaedra you are one of the Dalish. Should we just go in the forest and look for them?" Sasha asks me. "I was one of the people and it isn't necessary they'll find us as soon as we enter the tree line." I responded. We steeled our nerves and entered the forest. Soon enough, we were approached by Dalish Rangers. I gave the Elvish phrase, "Andaran atish'an." and gave the Dalish sign of coming in peace. "You are a half breed. And yet you know our ways. Why?" the Ranger asks.

"I was once a ward of the Sabrae Clan." I responded. "Ah, yes they passed through here, you must be Phaedra. What does an exiled half breed want with my people?" She asks tersely. "I come as a guest of the Grey Wardens. This is Sasha she is the leader of this band and desires a word with your people." I stepped away and Sasha steps forward. "We have treaties from the Grey Wardens urging the Dalish for aide with the blight." She says. "This is a matter for our Keeper. Come. But do not make yourselves comfortable. We are watching always. Especially you half breed." She says.

Leliana got closer to me as if to offer me some protection and comfort. She stayed close to me throughout the Dalish camp. Never leaving my side, she walked next to me her every sense alert. I smiled on the inside. A few feet from the Keeper Zathrian's tent, Mithra the Ranger stopped us. "The Warden's only. The rest of you may move around camp. But know you are always watched." She glared daggers at me and urged Alistair and Sasha on. Just like that our merry band went off exploring. I looked at Leliana, she seemed torn in different directions.

I smiled. "Go on. I'll be ok. I see some Halla's over there. That's where I'll be." I told her. "No. I should stay by your side. They seem extra hostile towards you." She says. I place my hand on her arm and rub her back. "I'll be fine Leliana. I promise. This may be your only chance to explore a Dalish camp." She places her hand on mine. "Shout if you need me. I'll hear you." She responds. I nod at her and watch her stroll away.

I walked past the crafts table, remembering sweeter memories of crafting when I was with my clan. I was brought out of my memories when I heard my name. "Phaedra?" I looked up and saw one of the crafting teachers I had for a time. "Master Varathorn." I nodded at him. "Oh child, it is good to see you. I had heard that you were exiled from Sabrae for attacking another clan member. But I didn't know the truth of it and neither Ilen or Marethari would tell me anything. Tell me the reason for your exile is untrue." He said.

I shake my head. "No master it is the truth. I punched Pol, broke his nose." I admitted. "I know you. You would not do so without good reason." He presses. "Merrill." I said. "What about your paramour child?" he asks. "She was starting down a dark path of magic. She told me it was theoretical. Pol was afraid of her and called her names and asked me to kill her before she destroyed us all. He called her a demon. I grew enraged and hit him." I explained.

"I'm sorry child. Pol was wrong. Merrill is the Marethari's first, it is for her to decide on Merrill." He said. I nodded again. He walked around his table and put an arm around my shoulders. "I saw Merrill. She seemed better. Lonely and sad though. But I can sense you feel the same. Your heart reaches for another, but a part of you still loves Merrill. Let's get your mind off it. I do believe Elora needs some help. Let us see if you can help. No one is as good as you with them." I nod in agreement and he lead me to the coral.

"Elora, look who has been brought to us." He says. I remembered Elora. She was the one who fine-tuned my natural abilities with animals. It was unexpected when she pulled me into an embrace. "Phaedra. My darling girl. I am so happy to see you." She says. "Mistress Elora." She hugs me tighter. "None of that Da'len. I am simply Elora. Your friend. I have missed you so. Come. I believe a few of the Halla here have missed you." She says her arm around me.

As I was greeting the Halla who knew me I saw one off by itself. "Elora. Why is she by herself?" I pointed to the Halla. "Ah, I do not know much. But I think she may be sick, but I cannot surmise from here. She will not let me too close to her." She tells me. "May I?" I asked. "Please." She responds. As I get closer the Halla tenses. I speak calming words to her, as I slowly approach. She bumps my hand with her nose. Elora examines her.

"I see no injuries." She says. I glide my hand down her back, sides, and flanks. "Ah. I see." I said more to the Halla than anyone else. "Elora feel this?" I watch her trace her hands down my same path. "She is with young. Where is her mate?" I ask. "He has been very ill." She says and points to another pen. I see him lying there. I do not hesitate as I enter his pin and begin my soothing talk. I sense that he had eaten something poisonous. "He has been poisoned. Where did he eat last?" I ask. "We found him outside of the woods. He was weak. We loaded him into an Aravel and brought him here." She responds.

I reach into my herb pouch and grab an herbal mixture I had made before I left my clan. "I will hold him. Pour this all down, he must drink it all." I instruct. She never questions it, but follows directions. "We got to him just in time. He shall be well in a day or two." I said.

"What happened?" she asks. "Darkspawn blood and rash vine poison. He was lured out. Someone wanted him poisoned. Knowing the people waste nothing. I assume whoever did this expected the people to kill him and use his meat. Therefore, poisoning whomever ate it, with the possibility of blighting them." I explained my thought process.

"What did you give him?" she asks. "A mixture of spring water, three-part elf root, two parts spindleweed and one-part arbor blessing." I explained. "I will make sure the keeper knows of this poison and its remedy. As well as make some just in case." She says. I explained exactly how it was made and warned the process must be exact.

I spotted a she-wolf poking her head through the tree line. I excused myself from Elora and headed into the trees. The she-wolf looked at me and I could see she was not well. I began to follow her. She would look back at me. As if, to see that I followed her still. She led me to a bush poked her head in and pulled out her cubs one at a time. There were four two had died, the other two, weak. Her eyes stared into mine. I nodded at her. I grabbed the pups as the mother watched. "I shall return momentarily." She nodded.

I walked back to Elora, gave her instructions and headed back to the she-wolf she had remained where she was. I picked up the other two pups, they had died in the night. I followed where she led. I buried them. "Dareth Shiral Da'lens Atisha Mythal. Safe journey little ones Mythal's peace upon you." I prayed. The she-wolf approached and nudged my hand. "Ma nuvenin. Ar lasa mala revas. As you wish. I give you your freedom. Dareth Shiral." She places her head in my arms and bares her throat. Using my dagger, I end her suffering. After burying her and sending up a prayer I head back to camp.

I met up with Elora. "It has been done as you asked. They will live." She says. I place my hand on her shoulder. "Thank you Elora, I will sit with them a bit." I said. She nods and continues her usual duties. It is here where Sasha finds me. She explains the situation and what Zathrian's request was. "Werewolves. Really? I thought they were just a legend." I said.

"I know it is hard for me to believe as well. But that is what he has asked us to do. It is the only way he will let his people help." Sasha says. "To the forest then." I said. We resupplied and headed into Brecilian Forest. Two hours in we ran across a wounded Dalish hunter. After administering a health poultice and a tonic, Sten, Zevran, and I returned him to camp. "Thank Mythal you are back. Those pups of yours are inconsolable and distant. They have made a mess of your pack and are hiding amongst your clothing." Elora told me, before heading to the infirmary with Sten and Zevran.

She was not lying. "Da'lens. It is time to come out of hiding." I told them and approached my belongings. They came out reluctantly. As they sniffed my feet and legs I repacked my pack and sat beneath the tree. "Are you hungry?" I asked they yipped. "Come along then." I snared them a couple of rabbits and gave them milk. We all drifted off to sleep, both pups burrowed into my flanks.

Three days the others were gone, day by day the pups grew stronger and learned how to hunt for themselves. I kept busy with whatever I was allowed by the Dalish to do. Mostly crafting and helping Elora. The pups I had named 'Banal'ras' for the male 'shadow' and 'Elgara' for the female 'sun'. they were my sun and shadow. At midday on the fourth day was when Sasha and the others returned to camp. One was injured. I stood up and began to walk. "Banal'ras, Elgara." I whistled, and they ceased their playing and followed me. The Dalish had gotten used to them being around. I saw that it was Alistair whom had been hurt. "What happened?" I asked.


	3. Chapter 3

I listened to Sasha's story. And verified it with her. "So, what you are telling me, is that these werewolves, are intelligent and can talk, and they want you to meet their lady of the forest, but won't help you get there. Then you talked to a big tree who spoke in rhyme and asked you to find his seed. Then you saw this abandoned campsite you all fell asleep but Morrigan awoke and had to fight and subsequently kill some sort of demon." She nods, and I continue the breakdown.

"You recovered the acorn from a mad hermit and the tree gave you a branch from his body to get through the barrier and when you did you picked up a strange vial and it broke in your hand and then you fought a Revenant which you barely defeated, and Alistair was injured. But it gave you an amazing piece of armor and you want to find the other pieces and kill their guardian. Which is more than likely a Revenant." I stated after putting together what they had been up to. "Yes." Sasha confirmed.

"Sure. Why not. Let the adventure resume." I said. "Foolish women." Morrigan said, and walked away. I arched my eyebrow. "She has been like that since the campsite." Leliana said. Sasha doing whatever she could to help Alistair. Her eyes not leaving Sasha, jealousy nipped at me. "I'm sorry, this must be hard for you. Come with me. I'd like to introduce you to some friends." I hold out my hand she nods and takes it, then walks with me. I introduce her to Elora, and ask her to wait a moment.

I whistle again, and the pups come racing out from behind the tent. Still holding her hand, we kneel together. The pups sniff Leliana's hand and lick her she giggles. I place my hand on Banal'ras. "Banal'ras." She pets his charcoal grey and white fur. "Elgara." She pets Elgara's white fur. "Shadow and Sun." I tell her their names pointing to them.

"They are beautiful. Have the Dalish been good to you?" she asks. "I've pretty much kept out of their way." I replied. Banal'ras took an immediate liking to Leliana. Soon he was following next to her while Elgara stayed close to me. "I believe you have an admirer." I told her pointing to him. She smiles, laughs and kneels to pet him more.

Sasha signals it is time to leave again. We head back into the forest. The path was clear as we headed back to the ruins. We stopped at gravesite on a hill. Sasha disturbs the ward and a Revenant appears. This battle goes much better and we manage to take it down with minimal damages. "They are easier to defeat when you are expecting them." Sasha comments.

On through the forest we continue, into the ruins and fight our way to the lair. They explain some of other things that had transpired, when they tell me of a wisp and how it bestowed knowledge upon them. "An Arcane warrior. The people have stories and legends of them. But none have been met and none that we know have learned that discipline." I said.

"And none still haven't. The wisp said none in our party have the aptitude for it but conjured up a tome. It will activate and implant the knowledge when one is found." Sasha explains. We enter the last door after collecting the rest of Sasha's juggernaut armor as we learned it was called. The lady of the forest halted our battle with the werewolves and told us how they came to be. She agrees to pull back her people. She wishes to speak to Zathrian hoping to convince him to lift the curse he put on them. I could feel their story as if I lived, I could see it. I knew it was the truth.

We found Zathrian outside of the door leading into the lair from the entrance. It was only slightly hard to convince him. We watched in awe as both their spirits were released, and the werewolves returned to human form. As we left, I walked behind a bit. My heart heavy for all the loss, on both sides. A breeze passed over me, and I could smell a very special flower and it calmed me. I followed the scent and found Andraste's Grace. I thought perhaps I should come back for them later when I was alone.

A soft sniffle came to my ears. I looked down the hill and saw Leliana crying quietly. My decision was made for me. I picked them and headed down. I kneeled in front of her and held the flowers out. "Andraste's Grace." She said. I nodded. "May the joy your mother's flowers bring, outweigh the sadness in which given." I said. She wiped her eyes. "I really do talk in my sleep." She said. I sit next to her on the log. My arm rests on her shoulder. Her arms wrap around me, and the tears come again. But this time she is not alone.

I watched Leliana enter our tent. The pups look up at me, then at our tent and whine. "Go. She needs you right now." They took off and headed in. I looked and saw Bodahn wave me over. I walked to him, I hoped the package I requested had been delivered. "Bodahn. Sandal." I greeted them. "Phaedra. Your gift just got here an hour ago. I took the initiative and tuned and wrapped it. Mistress Leliana will be most pleased. Sandal here enchanted it. So, it will never wear or lose tune." He said.

"Thank you. Both of you." I nodded at them and shook their hands. I headed to my tent and saw the pups and Leliana dozing. One pup on each side, I could see her tear tracks. I kissed her cheek gently not wanting to wake her, and face her wrath. It was still light out, I wanted to preserve this image. Quietly, I took out my sketch book, leafed through it to an empty page and began to draw the scene until it was finished.

It was suppertime when they awoke, the pups racing out to hunt. I followed and yelled to them. "Do not go too far!" They yipped and headed into the forest near us. I heard music notes and knew she had unwrapped her new Lute. She came out with it in one hand and my note in the other. She embraced me, and I tried not to visibly melt. "Thank you." She replied.

"Morrigan told me yours had been lost in a fire during a tavern brawl. Well, she more like complained and said and I quote. **'I wish that damnable Bard had not lost her lute. Then perhaps she could distract herself from incessantly prattling on to me.'** That isn't why I got it though. I just really like music and wanted to hear you sing." I said.

"What makes you think I can sing?" she asks teasingly. "Elf Ears, I've heard you hum here and there." I said. She smiled. "Well, it seems like a proper time. I will sing a mournful song for those lost." She said. I watched mesmerized as she approached the camp fire and watched her fingers begin to strum. Her voice flowed out and I was in awe. And thought, surely, she must be divine. After her song, I walked to the creek, holding my tears at bay until I was in the river and it could not be noticed.

I let the tears flow once I divested myself of clothing and sat in the frigid water. "I see the song bird's voice has touched your heart as it has mine. We are of the same thought, I too wished to shed tears without the scrutiny of others." Sasha says. I look up at her, and say nothing. "I can leave you be." She says. I find my voice. "It is alright lethallan. I have shed far too many tears on my own." I replied and she sits next to me and I was grateful for the extra warmth.

"What does lethallan mean?" she asks. "Its meaning is akin to cousin or clansman." I answer. "Is that how you feel about me?" she asks. "It is. You took me in and allowed me to follow. You have all become dear to me, even Morrigan. I want you to know, whatever may happen, you will always be lethallan to me." I said. "We aren't just talking about the blight, are we?" she asks. I shake my head. "I know you and Leliana are attracted to each other. Just be good to her she has been hurt enough." I tell her.

"Phaedra, yes, I find her attractive, but my heart is set on another." She said. "Alistair. I know. I saw how worried and afraid you were when he was hurt." I shared. "Have you told Leliana how you feel?" she asks. "No. Nor will I." I said. "Why not?" she asks. "As much as every fiber of my being longs to. She deserves better and more than I can give her. "I said.

"Perhaps you should allow me to make that decision." I jumped. "Leliana... I... fenedhis. You weren't supposed to hear that." I said hanging my head. "Well I did. Alistair is taking over sentry duty, he could not sleep. Sasha may I speak with Phaedra privately please?" she said. "Yes, go ahead come on Rufus let's go bother Morrigan." She left. Rufus trailing behind her. "May I sit?" She asks. I nod dumbly still a bit embarrassed that one she overheard us and two that I didn't hear her or smell her coming. At least I had managed to put clothes on.

"Phaedra, I too am attracted to you. But I am still unsure if I want to pursuit anything, it helps that I know now that Sasha is interested in Alistair. The flowers and the lute, was it just your attempt to seduce me?" she asks. "No. the intent behind both was just to make you happy. I swear by the Creators and the Maker. You heard that I was not going to pursuit you." I said fumbling a bit.

"I believe you. I am still not sure. Your attentions are flattering, but I need time." She says. "I am not pressing you for anything other than friendship." I told her. "Very well. You and Rufus have watch. I'm sure Elgara and Banal'ras will be joining you." She walks away, and I wish my life was ended.

It was quiet, Elgara and Rufus at my sides. As I figured would happen, Banal'ras stayed with Leliana. I felt Rufus's nose beneath my hand. "It was a beautiful song no? Sad but beautiful. When I was young Marethari used to sing to me. When I was ill, afraid, worried or sad. She had terrible voice, not like Leliana's. she taught them to me." I began to sing softly. The song soothed me, my song ended as I could hear Leliana and Sasha approach.

"I guess it's time for us to retire for the night." I said to Rufus. Sasha patted his head and Elgara's. "I didn't know you could sing. You are just full of surprises." Leliana comments. "It's what I do. Good night ladies." I said and head to my tent.

At first, I couldn't sleep, so I opened my sketchbook and drew a picture of Leliana with her lute next to the camp fire singing. I grew tired after that and fell asleep. It felt hot and stifled in the tent. So, I undressed to my undergarments. _"I should be fine like this, there should be enough of a warning. If I need to get dressed again."_ I thought to myself.

I am being shaken violently. "Phaedra! Wake up! Darkspawn!" I grab my crossbow and rush out and begin firing immediately. They are everywhere. I am stopped short when I see Tamlen's familiar frame. "Phaedra. I don't want to do this, but the voices, I can't shut them out." He charges, and my dagger finds his stomach. "Ar las mala revas. Ir abelas lethallan." I tell him. "Ma serranas, lethallan. Andaran atish'an." He says. His eyes close. "Find peace in the arms of Mythal." I say to his corpse. I was frozen by my grief.

My arms still around Tamlen. I feel Leliana's arms around my shoulders, I stand she takes my hands and rinses off his blood, but I know I will always see it. She leads me to the tent and sits me down, and leaves again. I hear her outside the tent talking to Sasha. "I'll tell her Sasha. Let her get some rest for now." She enters with a basin of water.

I feel numb as she washes the blood off me. I don't even flinch as she removes my underthings to wash the blood off them. She opens both our bedrolls; she leads me to lay down. My head lays on her shoulder, my arm over her middle. She strokes my hair until we fall asleep. She was holding me still when we awoke. "Thank you Leliana." I tell her she says nothing but kisses the top of my head.

"What were you supposed to tell me?" I ask as we dress. "Sasha says we'll need to be on guard more for a while, triple watches. Further from camp but not too far, as to receive better warning. We leave at dawn and are headed to the Circle of Magi." She said. We exit the tent and I look at the sky. "Two hours we leave. I shall return, I'm going to take the pups on a hunt." I tell her, she nods. "Two hours then." She repeats.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey all! so three followers for this story awesome. The Story is completely written, but I will be uploading chapters one at a time. So, here you go chapter 4. Enjoy. As always, read and review if you so choose.**

* * *

As we traveled further to the tower, Leliana and I got closer. She would walk with me more than the others. The wolves too, got closer with her. If she commanded them to do something they would. At first, they would look to me for a nod of approval. Then they just stopped and listened to her. I never worried they wouldn't listen to me anymore, they still did.

When we got to the tower, the news was grim. The templars were clamoring for the right of annulment. "What is annulment?" I asked out loud. "Killing all of the mages." Sasha says. "Why?" I asked. "Because they believe, none of the mages here can be saved." Alistair supplies. "That is barbaric." Leliana and I say together.

"There could be some mages still alive and not corrupt. I will not give up on them." Sasha declares. After a few more words the Knight Commander agrees to let us go in. "I will not open this door again until I hear and see the First Enchanter." He states. Sasha agrees. Morrigan insisted on staying behind. Zevran, Sten and Rufus staying with her.

Shortly after entering, we meet Wynne, a senior enchanter. She was holding a barrier up to keep the demons away from the children. "If you go in there, I go with you." Wynne said sternly. I volunteer to stay behind. Sasha hands me her rucksack, and searches through it. We trade potions and lastly, she hands me the Arcane warrior tome. As soon as my hands touch it, there is a bright light. Knowledge passes through me. When the light fades, the tome is gone.

"Well then. That answers that. Apparently, you had latent Arcane Warrior skills." Sasha says to me. "Yay me…" I replied. Honestly, I do not know how I feel about these latent powers. "I suppose we could figure that out later. Will you be safe, while we are gone? The children?" she asks. "I can suppress it for now. I know it is there, but I can't feel the mana pool." I answer.

"Onwards then. Wynne, if you would." Sasha says. Wynne brings down the barrier. She raises it again behind her. I silently pray for the safety, but I haven't the slightest clue what to do with my time. Banal'ras and Elgara sit vigilant at my feet. I pull out my sketchbook. Pass the drawings of my mother and Merrill, I put charcoal to paper and draw that which is dear to my heart now.

The image in my head is damning, but my hands begin to draw it anyways. The image was of Leliana, a bucket on a branch of the tree she was underneath. From the bucket which had holes in it water flowing down on her in small streams. Shamefully, my eyes had been glued to that image since this morning. I hoped Leliana never saw this drawing, I did not know how she would take my spying on her.

Once the sketch was completed, I went to the next page. I drew Banal'ras and Elgara sunbathing on a rock. Also from this morning, their eyes seeming relaxed, but their ears and bodies tense and aware of their surroundings. I hear a huff and look down at them, then I feel a sense of exhaustion and fall asleep as they were.

* * *

 _ **Leliana**_ (shortly after parting from Phaedra)

I could not believe it. Phaedra was an arcane warrior. I didn't understand how. Most mages know they are mages at an early stage. _"Did she keep that from me?"_ I thought. Apparently, Sasha had been wondering to, only she voices the question to Wynne.

"Mistress Wynne?" She ventures. "Just Wynne. What is it dear?" she asks. "Is what happened to Phaedra possible? Don't mages normally know or show they have magic at an early stage?" she asked the old mage.

"You are wondering if she hid it from you?" Wynne asks. "Yes." Sasha replies. "It is extremely rare. But yes, it possible for magic to not bloom until a person is much older. But my theory is that, because she is a special type of mage. Her magic needed to unlocked, as you would a door. By another Arcane Warrior." Wynne says. It still makes little sense to me, but I am a rogue and a bard, not a mage or templar.

I look at Alistair, I knew he had templar training. "I know nothing about it, I have had training, but there are some things the order doesn't tell you until you go through your templar vigil." He explained waving his hands furiously. There was probably a book about it, I decided to look for a book once we saved the mages.

My heart broke a bit more after a mage who surrendered at first, she explained the horrible living conditions. "Is what the mage said true Wynne?" Sasha asks. "That would depend on the mage. Some have it harder than others. I believe most bring it on themselves. I have heard of very few incidents where that treatment wasn't warranted. Myself, I have had no problems." Wynne says.

I wasn't sure anyone deserved to be treated poorly, or to be imprisoned. "Kinloch Hold gives the mages here slightly more freedom, and are usually fair in their punishments. Or so I have read." Alistair says. I begin to worry if after this, Phaedra will be forced to remain here. I did not like that idea at all. If that were to happen, any chance at love with Phaedra would be destroyed.

I must hold back my tears as several possessed and bewitched Templars throw themselves at us. All this innocent life wasted. "Leliana?" Sasha asks. "It is just so much, all these innocent people. It's like the Brecilian Forest all over again." I said. "I know. Leliana. I feel the same way, but we have no choice. We must defend ourselves." She says.

She embraced me. At one time, her touching me would have thrilled me. Now though, it is appreciated, it makes me yearn for Phaedra. One of the last rooms on the third floor threatens to break me. A bewitched Templar and a desire demon. I figured we would just kill them, like every other enchanted person we have come across.

"What are you doing to that man?" Sasha asks the desire demon, and I am shocked. "He desires for a family life and happiness. I give him that. kill me, and you kill him. Let us leave, and we won't interfere here. Just let us, him have this." The demon says. I see the confliction cross Sasha's face, we both know this isn't real happiness and love, but to him it is. "Go then, harm no one else. I will not kill another innocent man, not by choice." Sasha says.

I expected Alistair to throw a fit, but he doesn't. He seems to be just contemplating, as am I. I feel a spike in my attraction to her, even though we had talked about it and decided to be just friends. My mind then goes to Phaedra, and I smile at remembering this morning when she spied on me when I bathed. I knew she was there, the closer we had become, the more I could sense her.

There is only one room and the central room left on this floor. The next room leads to a vicious battle, none of us are sure we will survive it, but we do. "Just the central room left and then the top of the tower and harrowing chamber." Wynne says. "Perhaps we should rest a bit first, heal up." Sasha says. "I can help with that. My specialty is a Spirit healer." Wynne says.

There are conversations going around, but all I can think about is Phaedra. Her smile, her laughter, her gentle touch, her comforting presence, and dazzling eyes. Her voice as she sings to the night sky. Peace and desire had filled me then. Eyes of green catch my breath as the stare into my steel blue as we converse.

Long midnight tresses tickled my face as she leaned in to kiss my cheek, while I slept. The pups soft fur and warmth on my sides. She is consumed be her sketching. She doesn't see me looking. I close my eyes when I see her move her head up to look at us.

Her fingers accidentally brush mine as she hands me breakfast, my heart and womb clench. Her fingers deftly change and reset her crossbow. I focus on her hands and fingers, and briefly imagine how her touch would feel, as she touches me. I shake my head. I want her. But could I ever allow myself to love again? Could I ever allow another to see my ruined body? A shadow crosses over my eyes.

"Thedas to Leliana." Alistair says. "Hmm… what?" I ask clueless to my surroundings. "You ok Leliana? Wynne said you were physically fine. Do you feel tired and in need of a break?" Sasha asks. "No, Sasha, I am okay. I just got lost in thought." I reply. "You sure?" she asks. I nod, and we go through to the central door. Immediately we begin to be besieged by overwhelming exhaustion we try so hard to fight it, but we succumb anyways.

* * *

 **Phaedra** (after passing out)

I stood up in and looked around the unfamiliar, yet, familiar place. In my heart, I knew this was the Fade. "How did I even get here?" I asked. I saw the tower in this hazy dream like state, then I saw the doorway, that Wynne had barricaded. But instead of the barrier, there was a door. Something inside of me said to go through it.

"Now, where am I?" I asked. I walk up the stairs before me, and am relieved to find Sasha, or at least I think it is Sasha. "Are you real?" I asked her. "I couldn't tell you for fact right now Phaedra, for all I know, I could be dead in the real world." She responds. "True, but that means, I could be dead too. How I do know." I said.

She shrugs. "I know we are in the Fade, but where?" I ask her as she stares down at a lifeless person. "Who's that?" I asked. "Duncan. The warden who recruited me. He said he survived the battle of Ostagar. And this is supposed to be Weisshaupt, The Grey Warden stronghold." She says.

"I am sorry, he was important to you?" I asked referring to Duncan. "Not really. I barely knew him before he died. He was more important to Alistair." She says. "You know this isn't real. You didn't kill Duncan, the ogre did, from what Morrigan said." I reply.

"I know, but I wanted to believe him Phaedra. I wanted to believe what happened at Ostagar was what he said. Alistair and I almost died in that tower. I wanted to believe Loghain had not betrayed Ferelden, that King Cailan hadn't been killed. That it wasn't up to me to stop this blight." She said. "It's too much." She quietly added.

"I cannot even pretend that I know what you are going through, but I promise you are not doing this alone. You have us and Alistair." I said. "My mind knows that, but my heart is taking its sweet time to catch on to it. I always feel so stressed and drained." She says. "Then Alistair needs to catch the hint and see to your needs." I said.

"I wish. Maker, that would be so nice. I find myself tempted to seek out Zevran's tent, and allow him to make his words true." She says. "Why don't you then?" I asked. "With how you feel about Leliana, would you sleep with him just to get relief?" she asks. I shake my head. "I love Alistair. No matter the stress or tension, I could never do that to him." She says.

"Maybe, you should be a bit more assertive with him." I said. "I have tried, even when I mention sex, or even passionate kissing, he turns beet red. Then he either tries to change the subject or get away as quick as possible. Maybe he doesn't feel that way for me." She says. "Or, maybe he is a virgin. He was raised by the Chantry." I said.

"I doubt that Phaedra, look at him. He is way too handsome for that. Maybe he is like Leliana. He has just been hurt so much, that he is afraid to love again." She says. I can't contain my laugh. "What? It is entirely possible." She said. "The running would point in that direction, but the scarlet color that crosses his face even at innuendos, says otherwise." I said.

We put our conversation on hold as she speaks to a mage named Niall and he explains the area and situation more. After we leave him, she finds the mouse he mentioned and learns how to change into a mouse herself. We enter the next area of the fade. "It would be easier for you just to ask him." I said. She sighs. "He will just blush and run away." She says. "Don't let him." I state.

"This is the least important thing right now." She says. "I don't think it is, if you love him Sasha, try." I said. "You could follow your own advice." She retorts. "If the situation were different, maybe." I reply. "The situation isn't different." She states.

"Yeah it is, Leliana has had sex before, and she didn't always have a choice." I said. "I still think, he is just afraid." She says. We fight through a lot of darkspawn and help a templar spirit whom teaches her Spirit form. We head to the next area.

"How about a wager then? If Alistair is a virgin, you get me a pair of blue satin shoes for Leliana." I said. "This again." She quietly thinks about and grins devilishly. "If you are wrong and I am right, you wash and repair everyone's clothes, especially Alistair's socks for a month." She says. I gag at the thought of it. "You are on." I said. We shake on it


	5. Chapter 5

The next area yields the burning man form. I do not bring up Alistair again. "Phaedra? What will you do if Leliana never lets you in her heart as more than a friend?" She asks. "Feel like I died inside, for a very long time, then try and stamp out all my feelings and desire for her." I state matter of factly.

We go back through a few of the places we have been. She kills the guardians she can reach as I stand guard. We need to open the way to not only the Sloth demon whom put us here, but to our companions too. I wish I could fight them with her. But I cannot, since I have no way to go with her. She has learned the forms not me.

It is after she receives her Golem form she brings up Leliana again. "What if she does let you in her heart and body?" she asks without a hint of embarrassment. "Then, I will pinch myself every so often, to see if I am dreaming. Nice comment on the body thing. You are learning." I said grinning. "I am not sure it is the best idea for me to learn it. It may make me more sexually frustrated." She says.

We again retrace some of our steps and she has killed a couple more guardians. "Well, if it helps, I am sure Leli, I, or both would be happy to oblige and let your tension run freely over our hands or tongues." I said. "I am seriously tempted. As frustrating as this whole Alistair thing is, I may swear of men altogether, or at least for a time." She says. I laugh as does she.

She killed the last of the guardians. We pick a path to our companions, we weren't sure where they were precisely on the path. "Phaedra? Have you ever been with a man before?" she asks. "No, I have only been with one person, before and they were a she. It's not that the idea makes me sick or anything. I just have not seen a man that has caused me to consider it." I told her honestly.

We turn the corner and see we are in Wynne's nightmare. She is surrounded by dead apprentices and blaming herself. "They died because of my negligence." She says to Sasha. "Wynne, you are in the Fade, they are not real. Don't you remember what happened?" Sasha asks.

"Wynne, look at me." I draw her attention to me. "Phaedra, you can't be here. You weren't with us." She says. "Good now think about what you just said." I remind her. Finally, it dawns on her and then the apprentices in mock horror stand up and engage us in a battle. Wynne disappears. "Where do you think she went?" Sasha asks. "Hopefully, to where we will need her after we rescue the others and face the Sloth demon." I reply.

The next companion nightmare we enter is Alistair's. "Ah! Here she is!" He kisses Sasha's cheek. "Sasha, this is my sister Goldanna. Goldanna, this is the woman I love. Phaedra, it is surprising to see you." He says to me. He seems so happy. "Yeah, I was surprised to be thrust into the Fade too, even though I was nowhere near you guys." I said.

He laughs. "Silly Phaedra, this isn't the Fade. How can it be? My sister is alive, well, and here." He says. "Yes, how silly of me." I state. "Phaedra, where is your wife, shouldn't she be with you? You two have been inseparable for years. Never mind that, I am sure she has her reasons. Come, sit with us. Dinner is almost ready." He says. "You deal with the buffoon. He is making my head hurt." I said irritated.

"Alistair?" Sasha says. "Yes, my love." He replies his eyes misty and full of love. "Look in my eyes, and please listen to me." She says. He does so. "We are all in the Fade. The Sloth demon put a spell on us and made us sleep. I saw Duncan, at Weisshaupt." She goes into a description of Weisshaupt.

"I find it amazing you can describe that place perfectly, he never took you there." He says, and it dawns on him his face turns red. "Caught on, did we?" I comment. Another battle ensues and he to disappears when it was over.

"I guess that just leaves Leliana then." Sasha says her face still blushing. "Yes, but aren't we forgetting the ogre in the room. Alistair called you the woman he loves." I said. "I am aware of that. I just can't deal with it right now. How do I know if he meant what he said? We are in the Fade, it could be a trick of demons." She says. "True, I suppose we will have to wait for when we all wake up then." I said. She nods curtly.

At the end of the path, we see Leliana kneeling and praying with a revered mother. "Please leave. Sister Leliana is praying for peace within herself. Do not disturb her." The Revered mother says. "Leliana, this isn't real. We are in the Fade." Sasha says. "Who are you? I do not know you." She says. "Do you remember your vision? The rose blooming among a dead bush. You said that it was a sign from the Maker to help me." Sasha says. She seems to recognize it, but then shakes her head. "No, that was a dream. The Maker only ever spoke to Andraste. Please leave." She says.

She turns to me. "Your turn, deal with the woman you love." She says to me. "Ouch. That was a bit prickly." I comment. She glares at me. "Alright, fine." I concede. "Leli?" I venture. "Why do you speak to her? She has already said she does not know you. Leave her be." The Revered mother says. My eyes fall on to her and the mother seems to shiver in fear and shrink in to herself.

"Leliana. Leli. Can you hear me?" I ask. Her eyes meet mine. "Aneth ara." I greet her as I did when we met. "I know you. Vir sumeil?" she asks I nod. "We are close, yes." I reply. I take her hands. "Garas quenathra?" I ask. "I am here because I must ask forgiveness and seek peace." She replies. "For what is forgiveness needed?" I asked. "I betrayed the woman I loved, and hurt her, hurt you. I left you for another and she destroyed me." She says.

"When did this betrayal happen?" I asked. "I knew you were waiting for me. But when I was 16, I became infatuated with a woman. And spared you not another thought." She says her eyes begin to well. I touched her cheek and wiped away the tears that began to fall. I let her use me as she saw fit, then she betrayed me, and I was put in a cell. The things that happened to me there, they have ruined me. I am hideous in body and hard in heart. I cannot love you as you deserve." She begins to openly weep.

I gently kiss her lips. "Nothing of you has been ruined. You are beautiful heart, mind, body and soul. I know this because you are the other half of my soul. Ma vhenan, var lath vir suledin. I am your other half look in your heart. You know I speak the truth." I spoke with a conviction I never thought possible.

"No! She is mine! I will not give her to you!" The mother shrieks. "I am not yours! I belong to myself. And I choose Phaedra, as I should have done at sixteen in this life. As I have always done in all of our lives!" she exclaims the mother contorts into her true self. The battle ends, the demon is no more. With a kiss on my lips, Leliana fades.

"So, that happened." Sasha says. I shake my head, and hope what transpired here was forgotten. Not that I would mind Leliana choosing me, I would just have preferred it not be in this place. "Please tell me you hope that this place and what happened here is forgotten by them." I said. "But it was so beautiful." She says. "Sasha. Remember Alistair's dreamscape." I said. "Good point." She responds. We speak no more of it and leave to face the final demon.

We approach the demon, and it begins to converse with Sasha. Then, one by one our companions appear. My heart stops when I see Leliana. I feel a trans-like state and hear only muffles, my loves voice from the dream clear. _"Would it be so bad if she did remember?"_ I wondered. But what is said in the Fade, may not always be true. I hate the blighted Fade, I had decided.

The Sloth Demon, begins the fight as an Ogre. It takes surprising little to beat him. Then he becomes a rage demon, after that form came an abomination, a shade, and finally an arcane horror. The whole fight was more taxing then hard. It seemed never ending. Once the Arcane horror falls we are all sweaty and winded. My eyes meet Leliana's gaze. I nod. Her eyes never leave mine as I watch her fade away again.

I wake my head on the table, I had fallen asleep on. A part of me is tempted to break the barrier and find Leliana and see if she remembers and meant what she said. But that would put the children at risk. I would just have to wait for them. I try and focus on the drawing I had been working on, I hated waiting. There was a flurry of activity and I saw Alistair and Wynne at the barrier.

"Is Uldred gone?" An apprentice asks. "Not yet. We got what we needed, but Alistair cannot go on. He is too tired." Wynne asks. I see Alistair blushing. I am sure he is embarrassed, but I wondered why. He shakes his head, a very clear warning not to ask. I nod in understanding. I kneel and stroke my wolves. "Stay and protect. I will bring her back." I said to them. They whine a bit and sit on their haunches.

Wynne opens the barrier enough for Alistair and me to switch places. She staggers a bit afterwards, and I steady her. "Hahren. Are you well?" I ask. "I am just a bit tired." She says. I hand her an eleven tonic. "My adopted mother taught me to make this. It is for mages only. She was the keeper of the clan." I state. She drinks it and you can see the visible differences in both her complexion and vigor. "Thank you, Phaedra, it really did help. We need to rush though. Time is of the essence." She says. I nod and gesture her to lead.

The tower had been effectively cleared, all except the very last floor, the Harrowing chamber. Sasha sees me and nods. "If I everyone is ready, we should finish this." She says. No one has any objections. The next door we go through the first thing we see is some sort of cage made of light. A templar stands there. To me he sounds like a raving lunatic, but Wynne knows him, so I supposed he was ok.

I stand next to Sasha and whisper to her. "Have you noticed anything odd, with Leliana?" I asked. Wondering if it was my imagination how she refused to look at me or walk next to me. "I don't know. Everyone, has been pretty quiet since we woke up from the Fade." She said. I shrug. "Probably imagining things then." I said.

I managed to catch her eyes as she passed me through the door, there was something there, but as quickly as our gazes locked she turned away. I knew something was up. I sighed. She would tell me if she wanted to or was ready to. Sasha briefed us and explained that Wynne, would use the litany of andrala. She was well versed in it. We were all to keep an eye on her and keep her safe as she used the rare and special spell.

The battle waged, it was tough, frustrating. No sooner did one group of mages get saved, then another is under the figurative blade. The battle waged, and I felt like I was in twenty different directions. I could hear the twang of Leliana's bow. I could feel the air as Wynne's spells as they rushed past me into the demonic form of Uldred. My eyes followed Sasha as her swords thunked each time they hit his hard scale body. I could feel my body rushing to whomever needed help.

Mages, were clever, and they seemed to always have a trick up their sleeve. Uldred, was no different. Just as he began to fall in defeat, one last spell, powerful enough for me to sense it, explodes from him. Heading towards my companions, but centered on Leliana. I do not know what comes over me, but this gigantic arcane dome shield protects us. But the magic is overwhelming, Uldred explodes and blackness takes over.


	6. Chapter 6

I awaken in a bed, in which I assume is the Circle Tower. A man whom I have never met, but seemed familiar somehow, other than the half elven ears, was tending to wound on my leg. "Where am I? What happened?" I ask him.

"Currently, you are in Wynne's bed, at the tower. As for what happened, well, let's say you took a heavy hit with your arcane shield." He said. "Is everyone okay? Did we win? The first enchanter, my friends, Leliana?" I asked. He looks at a chair behind him. "All fine. She has been at your side nonstop. Sasha finally had me put a sleeping spell on her." He says.

"How long?" I ask. "Four days and three nights." He says. "Who are you? Do I know you? You seem familiar." I said. He looks around and pulls out a family picture. "I'm not supposed to have this. This is the Amell family. My family, and yours. You are my sister Phaedra Amell." He went on explaining the family, how he knew we were. "It all sounds like truth, but I still am not sure." I said.

"I was there when you were born. You have two birth marks. Neither easily seen. Your hair covers the one at the nape of your neck, it is shaped like a crescent moon. The other is above your hipbone. It is the shape of a star. I have the same too." He moved his short hair and I saw his, then lifted his shirt and slightly lowered his pants. I knew I was dressed, and Leli would never let someone touch me against my will.

Shortly after the conversation and learning we had cousins in Kirkwall, Sasha came in and updated me on what else happened. "There's a couple places we need to go before seeing Arl Eamon. Denerim, among them. Alistair really does have a sister. He found her and wants to speak to her." I nod. She gets closer and whispers. "And yes, they remember their dreamscapes, in detail." I looked over at Leliana. She pats my shoulder.

"You can take the spell off now, we are leaving shortly." She tells my brother Calvin. He nods waves his hand over her. "She will wake up naturally in an hour." He says, nods at me and exits the room. Now I feel nervous. So many times, I wanted to run, and not deal with whatever Leliana was going to say. _"How do I even greet her now?"_ I thought. Then to add I have a brother. At least he agreed to part with the portrait of us and our parents. I stared at it, wondering what our family was like? What our cousins were like?

"Emma lath?" I hear her say. "Ma vehnan. You are awake." She sits next to me and looks at the portrait. "I have a brother. These are our parents. I also have three cousins. The oldest is Rilia Hawke, then the twins. Carver and Bethany." I said. "I knew them in Lothering. Well, I had seen Rilia and Carver. It was Bethany I saw and spoke to more. She used to love my stories. Does your brother know if there ok?" she asks.

"Calvin said he got a letter from Leandra, they were in Kirkwall. Unfortunately, Carver didn't make it. He was killed by an Ogre, trying to lure it away from Leandra." I said. "Ir abelas ma vehnan." She says. "You really do remember the fade." I said. "Yes, every detail and oddly what each Elven phrase meant that was said." She confirmed. "Where does that leaves us?" I ask.

"Right here." She kisses me passionately. "I am no longer afraid. I am yours." She said. I kissed her back just as passionately. "As am I yours. Emma sa'leth." More kissing until we heard the obnoxious laughter of Zevran. "Is this a party for two or may I join in." he says lecherously. "Girls only." I said. He laughs. "In any event, it is time for us to depart." He says, we follow him out of the room. "Everything good?" Sasha asks. "Very much so." Leliana says and I smile wide.

"Emma Lath?" She asks as we are approaching the ruins of Ostagar. "Yes, Ma Vehnan." I respond. "I get these small snippet flashbacks from when we were in the fade, and other memories from before my life now. Like past lives. Do you get them too?" she asks.

"Ir abelas ma vehnan, but I do not." I answer her. "Then why do I get them?" she asks. "I'm not really sure. Perhaps because I was of my own mind in the Fade. I wish I had answers for you. Perhaps we can ask the Circle and Dalish, send them letters with our inquiry." I suggest. We stay at the camp, while Wynne, Alistair, Sasha and Morrigan enter the ruins.

We sit and begin preparing dinner. Sometime during the skinning of the rabbits we snared, I stop and raise my head. "What is it mon amour?" Leliana asks. "I do not know, but Banal'ras is restless a mile to our east and Elgara is restless beyond those tree lines." I point to the east tree line. "He has warned her and us that men are trying to follow our trail to our camp." I tell her.

"Should we investigate it?" she asks. I nod. "I'll get our things let the others know, and tell them to be on guard, I do not like this." She nods and heads over to the other four left at camp. I hand Leliana her bow and arrows and take up my new cross bow.

"Banal'ras is following them they are a half a mile away. Feels like about 16 people, armed." I inform her. We split up in the tree line her to the left side, me to the right we walk the tree branches. No sounds come from either of us, but I can still feel her and know where she is. _"Something happened to us in the fade. I've never felt so connected to her before. It isn't unpleasant, just new. Does she feel it too?"_ I thought as I continued to track her and our prey.

"We are close to the camp. Remember, spare the others if you can. The red head is the only one that must die." One man. _"Red head…Leli?"_ I thought. "What if there are multiple red heads?" another asks. Then kill them both, but the one we seek speaks with an Orlesian accent. _"Now I knew they were after my Leli. Their lives are now forfeit to me."_ I thought angrily. As they passed I dropped down silently and began to silently kill each one.

This worked well until about six in and I was spotted. I whistled to attack. Elgara and Banal'ras joining in their primal rage as vehement as mine. Leli took out those who got too close to any of us. Then like a wind of retribution, she too dropped down and began cutting them down. Covered in blood, my blood pumping the rage still in effect, I got to the leader. I grabbed him and was about to slit his throat when, my loves voice and hand stayed me.

"Wait." She said simply then her hand caressed my elbow. My rage dissipated from an inferno to just bubbling below the surface. "Why?" I ask. "If you do not know who sent him, more will come. Such is the way of assassins. Breathe emma lath, calm your rage." She brushed my cheek. Our pups kept him from running. "Banal'ras, Elgara back away, but not too far." She ordered them, and they obeyed.

"Speak. Who sent you?" Leliana asks. The pups and I still at the ready low growls emanating from all three of us. "Orlesian noble lady. Dark hair. Marjolaine." He answers fear evident in his voice. "He should die now. You have your answers. Where is she?" I ask still seething. "Ma vhenan'ara." She looks at me. "Ma nuvenin." I look to him. "You have your life. Do not waste it." I signal for the pups to back further. They stop next to Leliana not quite trusting him with their human mother. I nod in approval. He hands her the location to where Marjolaine is. "Go." She says, and he takes off.

Normally wolves would chase prey, but ours knew not to. "She is in Denerim." She shares with me. Now I couldn't wait to get there. I stare after him, part of me wanting to break my promise to Leli. "Phaedra. My love let him go. Please calm down, your rage is overwhelming to me and the pups." She says. "You can feel it, or you can see it on my face?" I ask remembering my thoughts from earlier. "Your face is still hard to read, but for some reason, I can just feel it." She said.

"I think something else besides us realizing our love for each other happened. I can feel you too, and sense you better. Like when we were in the trees, I knew exactly where you were. As if I could see you in my mind." I told her. "Me too. Then I felt your rage and protectiveness. I knew you would go after them with your blade. It was a frightening experience." She said. "I'm sorry Leliana. I will try and contain my emotions." I said. "We should probably try and figure out this new connection, it could be a danger to us and the rest of the camp." She says. "Agreed." I reply.

We stopped at one of the nearby rivers and washed the blood off. The pups joining us and playing around. But alas, our frolicking had to stop, we needed to return to camp. I was relieved to see the rest had returned from Ostagar and that Wynne was finishing up dinner. "And where have you two been?" Sasha asks teasingly, but her expression turns serious when we tell her of the assassins we came up against. "Very well, we will see that she is taken care of, anyway Leliana deems necessary. And Phaedra I expect you to do as Leliana says." She said to me warningly. "Yes lethallan." I said begrudgingly.

We all sat to eat, it was a quiet affair, all of us on guard. I heard and smelled Wynne approach us. "Hahren? Do you have need of me?" I ask, knowing she wishes to speak to me. "Yes, I would like a word with you. In private please." She says looking to Leli. "Of course, Wynne. I shall be back love. I'm going to check on our little wolves." I nod at her. I stand and follow Wynne out of ear shot of the others. "Dirthara Hahren." I say to her respectively.

"Thankfully I know what you are saying, or else I may have been offended. That you see me as your respected elder, does help. You wish to learn something so listen closely. Being that I am so attuned to magic. I can sense that who you were when you into the fade at the tower, is not the same as now. But do not worry it doesn't feel evil." She said. "I know, I learned that I'm an arcane warrior, but I feel no magic in me. Not one spell has been released since the battle with Uldred." I told her.

"Yes. I am aware of that. You are subconsciously blocking the magic. It worries you. But that was not all that I was referring to. You are you, but otherworldly too, as if a part of your soul has been returned to you. It is the same for Leliana. I see your auras always reaching for each other, merging and blending. Tell me, do you feel her?" she asks.

"Yes, and she said she keeps getting snippets that are us but not us. She feels me too, when we were fighting the assassins. She told me she had felt my rage and it terrified her. I promised to contain them, but I do not know how." I told her. "I will teach you. Mages must learn to control their emotions. Our emotions are tied to our magic. I'm sure Morrigan can teach you too. I do not know if she will though." Wynne says.

"I'm sure she will. I really don't think she wants to risk being blown to pieces." I said. "Good point." She says. She begins to walk away. "Wynne?" I ask. "Yes, dear?" She asks. "You aren't supposed to be here anymore? Were you?" I ask. "No. I died in that tower, or at least I should have. A benevolent spirit saved me, her and I are now tied together. When she dies, I die." She replies. I nod and let her walk away.

Sasha, Wynne, Alistair and Leliana went to establish a keep. A favor to Levy Drysden, apparently, he was an old friend of Duncan. The camp was quiet and lonely, but I had asked Morrigan to help teach me control and effective uses of magic. It was hours of mentally exhausting studying. You would never have thought meditating could wear you down, but it did. By the end my lessons I was sweating from the effort to pull up my magic and control it.

"Alright Phaedra, let us call it a day. You did well. Keep practicing and you will get it." Morrigan said. I nodded. "Thank you Morrigan. I really appreciate it. I would really hate to blow anyone up." She shrugs. "Think nothing of it. Tis what you do for a friend." I smiled broadly, and my face lit up. "Oh no. Do not start. Say nothing to anyone, and if you try to hug me, I will turn you into a toad." She threatens. I just smile and walk away.

It was later that night, the away party still hadn't returned, but never the less Zevran and I stood watch. He had made a few comments about my desirable assets. I turned to face him. "Not going to happen Zev. This…" I ran my hands over my body. "All of this belongs to Leli alone." He laughs. "Then I will just have to continue to imagine and dream about it… and what Leliana will do to that body. Mmm." I shake my head. "Dream on then… just don't tell me anything. Or I may have to kill you, and I do like you as a friend." I told him.

I caught her scent on the wind and I thought she might be coming soon. I smiled when the pups howled and went racing past us, tails wagging with joy. "She is coming." I said with a smile. It is only a couple of moments later we the party comes around the corner, they are looking tired and worse for wear. "Hello love." Leliana says and kisses me, Zevran leers at us. I glare back. He smiles and laughs. "Go and take care of your woman. Shale is coming in a few minutes." He says. I nod and put my arm around her waist and head to our tent.

"Are you hurt emma lath?" I ask her. "Only a little ma vehnan. Could you help me with my armor? I may have pulled my shoulder. Maker how do you use your crossbow. My bow broke, and I had to use a crossbow I found, and that kick. I feel like mule kicked me." She said. I smiled and kissed her cheek. I took the clips off her breast plate, removed it and kissed her shoulder.

"I have been using one since my 12th name day. The keeper had one crafted for me, it was very light and had little kick as you say. Every year I would be gifted a new one, as my strength and skill grew so did the kick." She kisses my hand. "Perhaps I will just stick with bows then." She says. I undue the laces holding her leather under armor. "I can teach you how to make and use a light crossbow, if you'll teach me how to use a bow." I kneel and pull off her boots, her arms rest on my shoulder. She chuckles.

"You must be joking. You're Dalish. Is that not the first thing they teach you to use?" she asks. "You Shem know so little of our culture and lives. The first thing we are taught to use are non-magic staffs. Then wooden swords. By our 12th name day we choose which weapon appeals to us. I chose the crossbow. From that day on, we learn that most of the time. We choose other weapons to learn in addition. I chose crossbows and daggers." I answered her.

Leather armor pieces removed she was just in her under garments. I could see the numerable scratches, bruising and old scars. I do not think she remembered they were there until I touched one. She shifted away. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you ma vehnan?" I asked. She sighs. "No, my love. They are just reminders of Marjolaine's betrayal and the price of her love." She said. I embraced her from behind and kissed a few of her scars. "You don't have to do that. I know they are hideous." She says I turn her towards me and kiss her lips.

"I do not care about your scars mon ange. They have no berring on how much I love you and desire you." I tell her. "Truly?" she asks. I grin and grab her hand and place it underneath my skirt. She can feel my desire. She moans. "Oh, my love, no underpants. You are so wet." She says. "All for you ma vehnan, since I first smelled you returning to camp. I have only been getting wetter by the minute." I kiss her passionately she responds in kind. She gasps with pain; in our desires, we had forgotten of the reason why I had been removing her clothing. "Ir abelas ma vehnan. I forgot." I said. "I did too." She said giggling.

I gently remove her breast band. I sat her down in a chair. "Lean forward love." She does I place my hands on her shoulders. She winces a bit. "Sorry love. I will try to be more careful. Relax for me." She nods. I close my eyes and search for the well of my magic, I feel it and I bring it up through my hands into her shoulders, I rub the tension out at the same time. "Healing magic? Someone was busy while we were away. I can't imagine Morrigan teaching you to heal." She comments.

"She didn't. First Enchanter Irving and my brother gave me a tome of healing and creation magic. I taught myself, though I'd have Wynne double check and make sure I didn't mess it up." I tell her. "It feels good. I think you are doing it right." She yawns, and relaxes further. I hear her gently snoring and I gather her in my arms and lay her down on her bedroll. I kiss her forehead.

"Sweet dreams my little bard." I exit the tent flap and I see Wynne is tending to Alistair's minor injury. From my position, I could tell she was getting tired, I approach her and place a hand on her back and will my magic to enter and vitalize her. "Thank you, Phaedra. I see you have learned a few things." She says. "I did. I used healing magic on Leliana, would you mind double checking and making sure I did it right?" I ask.

"I will. Come here though, switch with me and continue what I started, I will observe and walk you through it." I nod and eagerly switch with her. "Well done Phaedra. You are all done Alistair. Send Sasha our way if you would please." She tells him. He saunters off and we see him exchange words with Sasha. She nods and heads over, she sits down in the chair.

Wynne taught me how to look for the problem within and heal it outwards. I was rather impressed to see that her fresh cuts were healed, and her skin was intact without a hint of a scar. "Fresh wounds can be healed completely, but only if they are minor. Anything more and there will be a scar. We cannot heal old scars if you are wondering." She says.

"I was, but I am grateful for the lesson. Thank you Hahren. Are you able to check on Leli?" I ask. "I am but afterwards, I think I will need to rest too. My bones are aching." I do not wish to push her beyond what she could do. "You don't have to tonight. Tomorrow works too." I said. She places her palm on my cheek. "You are sweet and considerate Phaedra, don't lose that. I am fine for tonight." I place my hand on hers and then I lift the flap for her. She checks Leli quickly. "You did absolutely wonderful. She will be fine by tomorrow." She sways, and I catch her.

I carried Wynne to her tent and placed her on her bedroll. I look in myself and fill her with magic, healing what can be healed, easing her aches and joint pains. She too falls asleep after my ministrations. I decided to cook tonight, Alistair and Sasha were talking at the edge of camp. He passed by me his face beat red. I shake my head in confusion, but get back to cooking a special herb and vegetable soup. I heated the bread over the fire on a spit.

"Phaedra. A moment of your time?" Sasha asks. "Of course, but not too long. I do not want the soup to overcook or the bread to burn." She hands me a box. "Not a word Phaedra. Not a word." She shakes her head and approaches Morrigan. I open the box. _"Blue Satin shoes?"_ I tried to remember. I return to my soup, and pull the bread off the fire. I felt my eyes widen and burst out laughing.

"What is so funny my love?" Leli asks. "I won a bet against Sasha. That there was my reward if I were to win. It's for you, go ahead and open it." She holds the box in her hands and opens it. "Ooh! Shoes! They are just like the ones in Val Royeux I saw. You remembered?" she says her eyes getting misty.

"Anything to make you smile. I never forget the things you tell me." I said. She kisses me lovingly. "I'm going to try them on, though I don't have anywhere to wear them." She said. "We will my love, we will. Do not take too long, the soup will get cold and taste not so good." She kisses me again.

"That was delicious, and I feel so great right now." Sasha comments. "I agree." Alistair says as does everyone else. "It's a special elven recipe. It is used when they go on long journeys, it is made with vegetables, deep mushroom, and elf root." I reply.

"Alright everyone. Leliana and I will take first watch. Sten and Phaedra second watch. Rufus and Zevran third. Morrigan and Shale you have fourth watch. Alistair and Wynne last watch. Tomorrow we leave and head to Denerim, we should reach the city by nightfall." Sasha gives her orders we nod and adhere to it.

I kiss Leliana hello and goodnight when we switch watch. I watch her walk away, purposefully swaying her hips extra just for me. "Phaedra?" I look at Sten shocked, in all our watches together he has never spoken to me. "Yes Sten?" I ask. "I have concerns about your difference now." I sigh. "As do I Sten. As do I. Speak your concerns." I tell him. "Before the tower, you were not a mage correct?" he asks. "Yes. That is correct." I answer.

"Initially, I thought a demon had attached itself to you." He says. "That is what I imagined most people would think. That is why I tried to suppress it. And now what do you think?" I asked. "I think an old soul of yours found its way home to you. The bard is the same. She is not wholly who she was when she went in either. My people think all magic and mages are evil. But I do not feel or think the same of you or the other mages." He says.

"Thank you, Sten. I hope that we have shown you that it isn't what a person can do skill wise or magic wise that makes a person good or evil. It is the person themselves and how they use them." I said. He nods and goes quiet again.

I returned from my watch and Leliana was still awake. "Were you staying up for me?" I ask and kiss her lips. "Not exactly. I am still sore. I could not make myself comfortable. I thought maybe some extra warmth would help, but it just seems to make it throb more." She answered. I removed the heated stones. The tent was still warm, but it felt good after the cold night air.

I began to remove her clothes again. She stills my hands before pulling off her shift. "It is tempting my love, but I ache too much." She says. I kiss her forehead. "Silly woman, I'm just going to rub your muscles. The hunters used to do so for each other when they grew too sore. Now, lay down on your tummy and trust me emma lath." She grabs my hand. "I do. More than anyone else." She lays down. I remove my gloves and rub them together to warm them. I set them down on her neck. "My hands are not too cold?" I ask. "Nope, they are fine." She says.

I begin to rub her neck, she quietly moans as I rub the tension from her neck and rub away the soreness from her shoulders. As I move down her moans become louder. I am starting to burn up. I undress, when I need to give my hands a momentary break. "What is wrong love?" she asks. "I just feel hot, I'll be okay." I said. She nods. I continue to rub down her muscles, by the time I have reached he calves she has begun to quietly snore again. I finish her feet and get up and stretch my legs. She turns over onto her back.

Her lips beckoned me, my ears still ringing with her moans. I gazed upon her fighting every urge to claim her body at last. Images flash through my head, things I wanted to do to her and have her do to me. I feel hot, unbearably so and in more ways than one. I need cool air to cool my heated body and core. I exit the tent flap and immediately everyone stares at me.

"Ho ho! Did somebody finally consummate their relationship with their beautiful Orlesian? Denying will do no good. We heard the moaning." Zevran says. "No, no. She was sore I was rubbing her muscles. Sometimes that can cause moans to be uttered." I explained. "Well, that's all well and good, but it is rather hard to believe when you are missing certain articles of clothing. Or rather all of them." Sasha says. I look down and see sure enough I was naked as a wee baby.

"I got hot. I came to get some fresh air. I forgot I had no clothes on." I said, defensively then re-entered my tent. Blushing furiously, I looked around for my clothing and redressed. I was not going back out there. Like, ever. I crawled into the bedroll next to Leliana and tried to fall asleep. I did not think I would be able to sleep, my embarrassment and awkward feelings at the forefront of my mind. Leliana rolled over and draped an arm and leg around me. I heard her humming in her sleep. I smiled and just let her voice soothe me to sleep. _"I love you so my little nightingale."_

Leliana woke up first. I felt her kiss my cheek, I grumbled sleepily. "Sleep a little more mon ange. I will get you when breakfast is ready." I mumbled my appreciation and turned over and fell back asleep. I felt like I had just fallen asleep again when Leliana burst back in. "Naked! Why?!" she yelled. "What?" I asked. "Why did you get naked and go outside?" she asked. "I actually got naked inside and went out forgetting I was naked." I said. "Again. I ask why?" I sighed.

"I just went out to get some air. Your moaning and the heat in here did a number on me. While I was rubbing your muscles, I got hot and started removing my clothes. Then I got hot in other places the louder you moaned. And yes. They heard you, quite clearly apparently." She then herself blushes and collapses on the chair and covers her face.

"Shit. We are never going to live this down, are we?" I shake my head. "Knowing our friends… no." I said. "Oh, sweet maker…" she says. "I'm never going out there again." She says. I chuckle. "That is what I said too." She laughs with me and then pounces on me and starts to tickle me. I feel like I must pee, so I stop her assault the only way I know… assaulting her lips with mine.

Quickly we were lost in our desires, her clothes beginning to be removed. "Terribly not sorry to interrupt your fornication. But Sasha says it's time to pack up camp and leave." Morrigan tells us. We both groan. "Tonight." She says. I kiss her briefly again. "Tonight then." I agree. She gets off me and puts her armor back on, as do I. Quickly we roll up our bedrolls and breakdown our tent. Before midday we have left our campsite and continued to Denerim.

The trek was rather dull, for once. No attacks, no ambushes not even animals. It is somewhat late when we get there. "We'll go get settled in the inn for now. Tomorrow we seek out Goldanna and Marjolaine, tonight we all rest. As much as we can that it is." Sasha says. A part of me wants to find Marjolaine now, but I know we are all too tired to face her. I wonder if Leliana still wants to consummate our relationship. Or if her knowing her former lover is so close, robs her of her desire for me.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: M rating towards the end of the chapter. You have been warned. DA is owned by Bioware.**

* * *

We ate supper, and retrieved our room keys. Leliana wanted to go to the chantry to pray for guidance. I walked with her. "Only sisters and lay sisters allowed within at night." The Templar guard said. "I am a lay sister. Leliana. From Lothering Chantry." She says and hands him the token that proves her words. He nods. "I will wait for you out here. I will comment that imposing restrictions on when someone can pray or come seek advice from a sister makes no sense. People should be allowed to do so at all times." She strokes my cheek.

"I will see you soon, but you do not have to wait for me." She says. I shake my head. "Can Banal'ras come with her?" I asked the Templar. "Banal what?" he asks. "Love, it is the Chantry. No one will harm me in there. Who would dare? Plus, the Templars are out here as well as in there." She says. "I do not like this emma lath. I have a bad feeling." I tell her. "Ma vehnan. I will be fine." She says. I sigh in resignation. "As you will." I tell her she nods and enters the chantry.

I leave the walled area. It would probably have not gone so well if Banal'ras or Elgara came into the city. I was still relatively sure wolves were not allowed in the city. "Excuse me?" a voice says. I get a chill. "Yes?" I ask the woman a city elf by the looks of her. "You are friends with the Orlesian Bard, right?" warning bells begin to go off. "Yes. She is praying right now. Let me get your name and if you have a message for her. I will be sure to give it to her." I said not letting on, that I trusted her not.

"My mistress bade that the red headed Orlesian Bard, known as Leliana come and speak with her. She means no harm. She just wishes to catch up with an old friend." I let my magic tell me if there is truth in her words. She believes them to be true, she is besotted with Marjolaine. "Did your mistress tell you where?" I ask.

"This is a map of Denerim, this house here is where she wishes to meet her." she says. "I see any other instructions?" I ask. "It is all in the note. Here." She says. "Thank you. Is payment needed?" I asked. She shakes her head. As she turns to head back, I knock her out. "You will thank me later." I tell the little elf. I pick her up and head to the Alienage.

A red headed elf approaches me. "What happened to her?" she asks. I can tell she has a temper on her, but I decide honesty is best. "I knocked her out. I did not do it for any other reason to protect her. She is serving a very bad woman, whom would betray her in the end. My love used to work for her. She fell in love with Marjolaine and in turn she betrayed my love. She was falsely imprisoned, tortured, beaten and raped. She barely managed to escape. I wished to spare another what my love endured." I explain. She nods.

"I had told her that woman was not what she seemed. My cousin Zarola, she has been lost since we were taken by Vaughn and his men. She tried to fight them, but there were too many. We were raped and beaten. Her betrothed came to rescue her with our cousin, but he was killed. Our cousin allowed himself to be arrested so we could escape. Zarola got together with this Marjolaine, because she promised to keep her safe and teach her how to fight better. She would never be that helpless again." I nod. "And along the way she fell in love with Marjolaine. And when she is done with her, she will throw her to the wolves, so to speak."

She directs me to her home. "I am Shianni, by the way. Thank you for returning her to us." I shake her hand. "Phaedra. It was no problem to bring her here. I aim to end the threat that is Marjolaine. She sent assassins after my love, and she is trying to corrupt another innocent person. She will die." I said closing my fist.

"I can help you, I do ok with a sword and bow." She offers. "No Shianni. She is mine, but if you would like to help. If I have not returned by dawn, my companions and my love Leliana are staying at Gnawed Noble Tavern. Let them know what I went to do. Give them this map. Leliana is a red headed rogue. She speaks with an Orlesian accent. She is the only red head woman among our companions. The leader is a Grey Warden. Her name is Sasha Cousland. She has long black hair that she wears up. She will have full armor on. I'd prefer only one of those two to know. Leliana first and foremost. Then Sasha, she will tell the others." I said to her.

She holds out her hand and I place the papers in her hand. "If I make it through the night, I will owe you, whether you had to deliver my message or not. Whatever your wish, if I can make it happen I will." I said. "I will hold you to that." I shake her hand and go out into the night. I had a date with Marjolaine.

Banal'ras and Elgara had snuck into the city, as if they knew we would be in danger. I could feel them watching in the shadows. "Come." I whispered knowing they would hear me. We entered the house. "Hang back a little. Do not risk yourselves needlessly." They skulked to the sides and I entered the common room. The woman was beautiful, that was for sure. Her beauty was dark and dangerous as Morrigan's were. "I did not expect you so soon my dear girl…" she turns to see that I am standing there.

"I am sure I asked for Leliana to come, and her alone." She said and looked around. "You will not find her here. She isn't even aware you sent a message." I tell her. "Oh, I see. You are the one my Leliana has been rolling in the mud with." I stand firm and glare. "She is not yours. She never will be again. Leliana is hers and hers alone." She chuckles.

"I do not wish her back. I only wish to end the threat." She says. "So, you sent assassins. Hear me, you will not so much as look at her again, let alone touch her." I say. "We shall see." Before she could signal, I sent two firewall spells at each door. "You shall have no help. This is between us." I tell her and unsheathe my daggers.

"You wish to make it personal. No magic then." She says. "Not with you. The rest can wait until I have finished with you." I wait for her to attack first. She doesn't move but looks to both doors still walled off with fire. "Trying to wait out my spell. It will do you no good, it lasts for as long as I will it to. But if you are too afraid and lack the skills to fight me yourself, I'll release the spell." Then I see what she is doing she has traps set up all around us many arrows ready to be released. I laugh at her; she hits the release. I stop all the arrows with a shield wall. She hits a smoke trap. I sense her through the smoke and block her attack.

"Not good enough." I tell her and push her away. She surges again attempting throw dirt in my eyes, I dodge it and our daggers are clashing. She does not give me an opening. So, I would have to create one. I let down one fire wall and whistle, she looks and turns to me to smile in triumph and I knock the daggers out of her hands and mine are within her. She looks shocked and I use a cone of cold to freeze the mercenaries heading my way. In short time everyone is dead, I rifle through her room and drawers, the dead need no gold. I also wanted to see if more trouble is heading are way. I find a recursive bow that I think Leliana will love and grab it.

I go back to alienage and Shianni's home. "She is gone then?" she asks. "Yes, but I must go to the inn. I must face my love, and accept whatever she decides." I said stopping her hands from removing the blood on me. "You are covered in blood." She says. "I can sneak in. I must face her now and as I am. She must understand that I am a murderer." She nods as if in understanding. I leave the bag of gold I found and left before she could even leave the bedroom. It took me no time to return to the inn and sneak into our room.

"Phaedra." She sees me. "Oh Phaedra, what have you done?" she asks. "I come before you emma lath. I have your former lover's blood upon my hands and everywhere else. I killed Marjolaine. I went to her home, with the intent on killing her." Her eyebrows furlough in concern. "Why? We were going to her tomorrow?" I stood not moving. "After you went into the chantry a messenger came for you. Marjolaine wanted you to come to her and talk. I didn't trust that it was just that. So, I went in your stead." I answered her.

She brought me to the tub, which was still warm. I used magic to heat it more. "Did you think I would fall into bed with her? Even after all that she had done to me, or caused to happen?" she asks. "No emma lath. I trusted you, I knew you wouldn't allow her to touch you again. I trusted her not to let any threat remain to her, even if there was a possibility you were a threat. She would remove you." She took off my clothes.

"Ma vehnan, I know she would never stop until I was permanently silenced, I was going to kill her anyways. The difference is I wouldn't have done it alone. I figured her house was full of traps. It would have been suicidal to go in there alone, but you did." She says I sit down in the tub. "I wasn't alone Banal'ras and Elgara were with me." I said. "As amazing and wonderful as our wolves are, they are not human. They could have missed something, and that would have been your end and theirs." She said as she removes her clothes and gets in the tub too.

I wince as she cleans the scrapes and cuts I had gotten in the fight. "Are any of these wounds from Marjolaine's weapons or traps?" she asks. "No these are from the mercenaries she had, they aren't poisoned. I checked." She cleans off the blood in my hair. "I felt you, you know. I felt your rage, but it felt restrained. Normally if you kill someone in defense or in a rage, it is not considered murder." She says. I stop her hand with mine.

"It is when you went to them planning on killing them. I'm a murderer Leli." I say to her. "No. you are the woman I love, who does whatever it takes to keep me safe. Then wishes for me to condemn her. Phaedra, I do not condemn you. You did what you did to protect me. No doubt she would have died tomorrow too." I turn to face her, our lips meet.

"I love you." She kisses back. "I love you too, though I am a bit irritated with you." She said I look at her confused. She points out the room to me. It was all set up for a romantic and seductive dinner. "Oh." I say blushing. "Yeah. Oh." She says with a grin.

"I'm sorry that I ruined your seduction." I tell her teasingly. She gets out and gets dressed. "As you should be. I was going to make love all over you tonight. But now I do not think I am even slightly going to." She says. I am unsure if she is teasing or not. So, I get out and dress and think of how to salvage our night. I hear her humming and I get an idea. The candles have burnt out, so it is just the sconces lighting the room. I go and close the shutters, then I turn down the sconces to a none existing flame.

The room is dark. "Mon ange?" she asks. "I am here." I reply. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Making up for my mistake." I reply. I lead her to the bed and look at the fire place, I throw my hand at it, lights begin to dance. I grab her lute and sit in a chair near the grate and begin to play a song that has been in my heart since I met her. I began to play and sing it in Elven but she understands it so to her it is in the common tongue.

"Heart full of sorrow, my home is lost to me."

"A journey has begun, I long for a home."

"Endure I must, to find my place of peace."

An image of my Dalish clan appears in the dancing lights.

"Hope is rekindled by hair of flame and eyes of blue."

An image of Leliana pops up. She is looking at me at our camp.

"My nightingale's eyes are upon me, I feel free."

An image of her holding me as we sleep now appears.

"I feel at peace in her arms. My soul reaches for her. I am whole."

"My journey is at an end."

The lights produce an image. We are walking and holding hands. Then switches to her sitting on her bed and I am playing her lute.

"My nightingale. My heart's desire. I love her so."

"She has become my home, my place of peace. I am complete and full of joy."

The moment is quiet. I look at her. "I'm sorry if it is not so good. I am no bard, but that is how I truly feel. I love you Leliana." She is quiet, I feel nervous. I put her lute down and raise the flames in the sconces with a wave of my hand. She has tears in her eyes. She holds her hand out to me I grasp it. Her arms enfold me.

"That was beautiful. As each image played in the fireplace, I could feel each emotion as if it were mine." She said. "I had not realized I projected my feelings to you. I am not very good at being the seductress." I admit. She giggles. "No, my love you are not. But you are very good at being sweet and attentive. Sometimes that is enough." I kiss her hard and passionately. She pulls me down on her.

Our passions quickly rise, and our clothes are coming off in seconds, Leliana flips us. She straddles my hips and holds my hands above my head. Her lips hungrily attack me. We are lost in a frenzy. Our hands cup each other's sex and spread the wetness, her moans and mine intermingle into a beautiful symphony, ending with the other's names on our lips. I want, no need more. I flip her over and kiss my way down her body. I lick her lower lips avoiding her clit, until it is less sensitive. As my mouth covers her, I push two fingers in her. I add a third as I suck on her hardened nub. "Oh, mon ange. Mon amor. I need more of you, I flip around and place my sex above her mouth.

I lose focus momentarily when I feel her mouth on me and her fingers within me. I continue my assault as she does mine and once again we are screaming each other's name. As we settle down for the night arms and legs intertwined we hear. "Alistair!" and "Sasha!" our eyes meet, and we giggle. "About time those two get it out of the way. They have been dancing around the act of love making for a while now. I wonder why." Leliana muses. I chuckle.

"That was Alistair's first time. That was the bet with Sasha. She thought he wasn't a virgin I thought otherwise." I admit. "No! really!" I nod. "No wonder he got so bashful." She says. "We should sleep." I bring up. "Mmm… sleep sounds good." She says and before I know it she has drifted off.

A loud knock wakes is from our peaceful slumber. "Sasha says it is time for to break our fast and go over the itinerary." Zevran says sleep still heavy in his voice. We groan and get up slowly, dress slowly. We were pleasantly exhausted. We shuffle down the stairwell and sit at the table with others. My eyes widen, and my mouth salivates over the bounty of food before us. "Alright! Good Morning everyone!" Sasha says full of perk.

"Ugh…spare us your post sex perkiness, why can't you be like them." Morrigan says grumpily pointing at Leliana and me. Sasha arches a brow. "So, it's a free morning. Alistair and I are going to meet his sister Goldanna. Please try to stay out of trouble. We shall be leaving Denerim by early morning. So, try to take an early night." She says. Leliana turns to me.

"What would you like to do mi amor?" she asks me. "I want to go and see Shianni and check on her cousin. They live in the Alienage." I tell her. "And who are they?" she asks curiously. I explain about the messenger Marjolaine sent. "We may have to sneak in. The alienage is on lockdown." I tell her.

We head to the gate, it was open for now, but we didn't know for how long so shrouding ourselves in shadow we run in. As soon as we turn a corner Banal'ras and Elgara greet us. "What are you two doing here?" she asks. "Oh, thank the creators you are here. I wondered why they got up and bolted out of the door so fast." Shianni says. She sees Leliana.

"Ah this must be your mate, you told me about. She is as beautiful as you said. My name is Shianni." She says holding her hand out to her. "Leliana of Orlais." My mate says and shakes her hand. "My cousin, Zarola is awake and not pleased. She threw bottles at me when I refused to let her leave to find Marjolaine. I told her she was dead. She does not wish to believe me. Will you speak to her please?" she asks. I nod and let her lead the way.

"Shianni! First you bar my exit with those beasts!" she says glaring at my wolves they growl at her in warning. "Then you knock me out and leave! Why won't you let me go and find my love?" she says tears brimming in her eyes. "You mean your puppet master. She never loved you! She was using you and your fear and hate to control you!" Shianni shouts back. "You don't know anything about my heart, she loved me!" she shouts back.

"She didn't." Leliana says. "What do you know, you're probably just another Shem who thinks they're better than everyone else!" she shouts at my love. I feel my anger rise and our wolves bark at her. "Easy loves. She's hurt and afraid. She's lost as I was after Marjolaine too." Leliana says. We effectively calm down a bit.

"So, you are Leliana. You betrayed her! You bitch! How could you? She loved you!" she goes to charge at Leliana and stops when Banal'ras, Elgara and I stand in between them. Her hand is on my shoulder she stills my rage, moves forward putting a calming hand on our wolves. Elgara, melts away at her touch and lays down as does Banal'ras. "Listen to my story, make your own decision. Phaedra, take our pups and investigate the rumors of rebellion and the plague supposedly going through the village." She says to as. "Yes, ma vhenan. Come." I say to the pups, reluctantly they follow me out.

When I return to her in a few hours after helping a blind Templar and figuring out that Loghain has been selling the people in the alienage as slaves and finding documents supporting it. I enter with Shianni's father and tears are heard. We find our way to our love and embrace her. Though she has gotten better dealing with her past, it still hurts her. I give her a comforting kiss on her shoulder. The pups nudge her thighs adding their comfort and love for her.

"Marjolaine. She loved only herself." She says I kiss her cheek and kneel before Zarola. "I know you loved her, and for that I am sorry I had to remove her. But she would have never stopped hunting my love, and I will do anything to protect her. Even if I must die for her to live." I said. Her eyes meet mine. She nods. "It will take time. But hopefully when you return, the hurt will not be so great. And I can forgive you." She holds out her hand and I shake it. "I understand Zarola." I said.

"Zarola, you killed the Arl of Denerim's son Vaughn?" her uncle asks. Shianni looks shocked. "He deserved it uncle. After what he did to us. I will not feel guilty. I would do it again in a heartbeat." She says firmly to her uncle. "Zarola, I do not disagree with you. But you have put us in a bad spot with the nobles now. You have put our people in danger with your recklessness. You cannot stay here. Not until things have calmed down." He says. I see a look of hurt and anger come across her face.

"You would cast me aside, for what to appease the nobles that treat us like shit beneath their boots! You are a coward uncle!" she shouts. "She has quite the temper, doesn't she?" Leliana asks me. I nod, but I can see her point. My former clan would have stood with her if she was part of the clan. Now she is an outcast or, so it appears. I think of our merry band. _"Perhaps, we could add another."_ I think. Leliana is of the same opinion she shrugs. "We'd have to ask Sasha." She says. "Come with us. We may have a solution." I said.

Reluctantly she follows us. We sneak back out of the alienage. How my shadow powder managed to hide all of us, I didn't know. But we head to the tavern. Sasha is there her face creased with lines of worry. "I take it Alistair's family reunion did not go so well?" I ask. "The bitch cared about nothing but his money. I told him as such, and now he has locked himself in our room to sulk." She shakes her head and calms down a bit.

"How was your day and whom is with you?" she asks. We explain the situation. "So, we were wondering if she could come with us?" I ask. She thinks about it. "How much have they told you about what we're doing Zarola?" she asks. "That you were gathering allies to fight the blight and we'd more than likely fight Darkspawn and the Arch Demon." She answers.

"Then you are aware this quest may cost you your life?" she nods. "And you are willing to pay that price if need be?" Sasha asks. "Yes, the blight harms us all. Though I feel anger and hatred towards my family in the Alienage, I would not wish their deaths. Nor do I want to sit with my thumbs up my ass, if I can help. I have had some training as a rogue. Under the same patron as Leliana once was." She points to my bard. "She has made me see who Marjolaine truly was. And I refuse to become as she was." Zarola says.

Sasha holds out her hand. "I will take you with us, but before we shake on it, I would like to make it perfectly clear. The game is not needed nor wanted among me and mine. If you want to help, you will be treated as the others. With respect and dependence. Simply put you are to be there for others as they are to you. Treat us the way you would want to be treated. You are also expected to pull your weight around camp, like everyone else. I value my friends' opinions, but that does not mean I will follow it. Can you agree to these terms?" Zarola shakes her hand.

"I can, and I will." She says. "Good, welcome to our crazy little family. Phaedra and Leliana will take you into the market and gather what supplies you will need, return here in two hours ready to rest for the night. We leave in the morning. Our next destination is Redcliffe, to speak with Arl Eamon." We nod our heads to her and exit the tavern again. Two hours later we return with her and ready our packs.

After we share a meal, Leliana and I agree to share our room for the night. It was not easy to sleep, Zarola was plagued with nightmares of Vaughn. Leliana understood and could relate, so, I let her comfort the crying elf. Morning came, silently we ate breakfast and grabbed our packs.

We head to the gate, Leliana, Alistair, and Sasha pray at the chantry. "Ugh. Why must they pray every time we are leave?" Morrigan complains. I shrug. An hour passes. "Finally." Zarola and Morrigan both say at once. We exit the gates. We are not surprised when Banal'ras and Elgara meet us outside of the city. Shouldering our packs, our quest continues.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: If you are wondering where I found all the Elven words; it is on dragon age wiki. Fandom made site. I do not own DA. Never have, never will. Bioware owns DA.**

* * *

Redcliffe Village was under attack by the dead. "And here I thought we'd have a peaceful and easy time recruiting his soldiers." I said sarcastically. "When is our lives ever easy emma lath?" Leliana asks. Sasha sighs in agreement.

"Let's go help them." She says. Everyone agrees, Morrigan stays quiet, lost in some sort of thought. She sighs irritably. I urge Leliana to go ahead and fade back to Morrigan. I look at her and she knows that I want to know what is on her mind.

"I assure you tis' not only because I do not want to help save their asses. But, because I find myself far too curious about our newest addition. She intrigues me for some reason. I know not why. I'm annoyed to come to these people's aide." She answers without me even asking she lays it out for me.

It still surprises me how she has warmed up to me. I arch an eyebrow. "Quiet you." She says. "I didn't say anything." I said. "You need not say anything. Your smirk says it all." She says. I chuckle, she glares at me and rushes ahead.

After we spent an unsurprising amount of time to get the village ready to defend, it was mostly just up to waiting for night to fall. While waiting, I see Sasha and Sten walk off, both having intimidating looks on their faces. I was curious, but found myself watching over my Bard as she prays. "The Chantry always makes me uneasy." Zarola says standing at my side. "You are not a believer then?" I ask. "No, I am not. Especially not in the Chantry." She says. "I'm curious, why not the Chantry?" I ask.

"The Chantry is supposed to help people, but unless their human, aside from a few priestesses and couple of mothers, they don't care. I had a friend, she suffered much like Shianni and I did at the hands of nobles, she went to the Chantry for guidance and help. They kicked her out, accusing her of lying, and stealing. Two days later, we found her hanging from a scaffold." She says and walks off before I can comment.

I feel this wave of sadness from Leliana. "You heard that Emma lath?" I ask. She nods. "The Chantry has some issues. But I believe there is merit in it. I do agree with Zarola though. The Chantry is supposed to help people, all people. Not just humans." I said. "I don't disagree, but I am powerless to change it." She says sadly.

The sun was almost setting, when I finally caught sight of Sasha and a very happy(?) Sten. Can Qunari be happy? I approach her. "Sten, seems happy, I think. I can't really tell with Qunari. You didn't, meet the demands of his Qun did you?" I ask. "What?" she asks and I make a lewd gesture, of sticking one finger through an O shape with my other fingers. "Maker! No! I wouldn't do that to Alistair, nor am I sure I'd survive that. You see how big he is. His codpiece would probably split me in two." She says.

"Are you saying Alistair is small?" I ask. She blushes heavily. "I wouldn't say that. His size is, more than adequate and perfect for me. Anyways, no I found Sten's Asala. It's his sword, but also his soul." I arch an eyebrow. "Phrasing." I said. "What?" she thinks a moment and blushes further. "Maker! Phaedra! Don't you have an Orlesian Bard to bother with your tawdry lewdness?" I sigh.

"Leliana won't play with me. She is still in the Chantry, praying and confessing. Zarola is skulking around Morrigan, and I'd prefer to not be turned into a toad. Sten won't understand, Zevran would take it too far, Alistair is busy catching up with Teagan, I'd feel terrible for saying anything like that around Wynne. So, lucky you. You get to be my target." She groans. "Yeah. Lucky me." She states.

What followed was several innuendos, a spluttering and flustered Grey Warden. I could see her moving her legs attempting to alleviate the desire beginning to burn in her sex. As soon as Alistair approaches us, she grabs his hand and goes into an abandoned house. Leliana passes them, tries to greet Sasha, but the Warden is short with her, and barrels past her Grey Warden in tow. "Jeez. What got into her?" She asks.

"Soon, Alistair hopefully. She has been so focused on everything else since Denerim. I may have given her an umm…push, to relieve that tension." I admitted only slightly guilty. "How?" she asks. I explained about what I had been saying to her. "Oh, Mon ange. You are wicked." She says. I smile. "I may need to be punished." I said. "Oh, you will, my love. You will, but later when we have more time." She says smirking and winking. "Looking forward to it." I said kissing the side of her mouth.

Night came, and even though the numbers of dead were high, we found the battle lacking. As morning dawned, only a few soldiers were dead and only slightly more were injured. Sasha and Alistair went with Teagan. Zarola and Morrigan were once again off on their own. As was Zevran and Wynne. Sten and Rufus. Which left me very much alone with Leliana. We didn't even make it into a building. We just did it in a secluded area of the Village. Sadly, I was not punished then.

"Later, I promise." She says. "But will later ever come?" I ask. Knowing full well there was an opportunity for a lewd comment. Leliana did not disappoint. Grinning ear to ear, holding hands, we headed up the gigantic hill back to the windmill. I caught the last bit of their conversation with Lady Isolde. Teagan and Sasha were a few paces away from the Orlesian woman. I approached them. "Can you say trap?" I comment, letting my presence be known. "Yes, Phaedra we are aware of that fact. But it doesn't change that we must go through with this to stop the attacks at the source." She says a bit on the edgy side.

"I do not think she got the tension release you tried to instigate." Leliana says. I sigh equal parts exasperated and frustrated. "They haven't been intimate since after they met up with Goldanna. I think. I wonder what is wrong." I said. She shrugs. "Maybe they broke it off. If that's case…" she says. "We may need to take her tension matter to hand, our hands." I said.

I'm pretty sure both Alistair and Sasha heard us if the identical red faces were an indication. "You are terrible, and lovely at the same time. But now you got me thinking. A foursome maybe. It might be nice I haven't done that in a long time." She says. Now it is my turn to blush. The idea, suddenly was very appealing. The things this woman made me want to think and experience. Though, I'll admit, I was rather curious about what the Wardens hide in their breeches, and the rumors of Warden's stamina.

"Phaedra! Stop picturing it!" I grinned at Sasha and Alistair and bit my lower lip. "Leli, control your woman!" she adds. "Mmm…no. I think I like what she's picturing." Leli says. "Et tu Leliana." Alistair says. We chuckle at how the idea of all of us sweaty on a bed in not but skin, is both appealing and appalling to the Wardens. We excused ourselves to gather more supplies, for our waiting trap in the castle.

We come face to face with the mage that supposedly began the problems. After a bit of interrogation, the mage Jowan, admitted to poisoning the Arl on Loghain's orders for amnesty. But vehemently denies causing the undead attacks. He tells us the Arlessa has had him imprisoned and tortured. I didn't care honestly. I just wanted to have the situation resolved.

The tensions between Alistair and Sasha rise when she agrees to free Jowan and try to give him the chance of redemption. Zarola, Morrigan and I stay out of it. Sten too stays out of it, instead choosing to pet Rufus. Zevran just stands around, Wynne listens but does not add input. Eventually, unable to change Sasha's mind, Alistair begins to sulk. "If you don't like the way I lead us, feel free to take over." Sasha says. He shakes his head, and no more is said about it and we continue through the castle.

After we get to the main room, yet again, there is an argument about what should be done about Connor and his possession. I head to the castle exit; this bickering was ridiculous. Kill the child, or kill his mother, neither of those choices were good. "Phaedra, where are you going?" Sasha asks. "To the Circle tower. Maybe, Irving has an idea. Because, sacrificing either does not sit well with me." I said. "Wynne, Leliana, and Zevran go with her. We will hold here, and await your return." She says. I nod, finally she used her brain.

When we return a couple of days later, the party we left behind was exhausted but alive. "Someone will need to go into the Fade and defeat the Demon." Irving says. "Phaedra will do it." Sasha says. "Excuse me?" I ask miffed. "You and the Fade react differently than it does with us. You have far more control. Also, Morrigan and Wynne having adamantly refused to go, a mage is needed, and I do not fully trust Jowan." She doesn't even look apologetically at Jowan when she says that.

"Very well, but I do so under protest. I hate the Fade." I agree reluctantly. "You will be fine my love. I have complete faith in you." Leliana says. She means it. I can feel what she does in her heart. She is as pleased about me going, as I am. I kiss her good bye and pat our wolves. I was pretty sure that soon, physically, I would be in the Fade. It was my silent promise to them that I would return home.

The thing about the Fade, even I couldn't tell if I was physically there. "Who are you? What are you doing here?" Fade Connor asked. "I am not here to harm you Connor. I came to help you." I said. "No! No! I don't believe you!" he exclaimed and ran off. I growled and began chasing him all over the Fade, until finally, the desire demon herself showed up.

And as demons usually do, promises of power, riches, and the best sex of my life as desire demons like to promise. "Power corrupts. I do not need riches. And you could never hold a candle to my Leliana. So, die demon." I said and begin the irritating fight against her and her clones. "Connor. It is time to go home. Your mother is worried sick about you." I said. "And Father?" he asks. "Still unconscious. But I give you my word, we will find out how to make him better." I said. He nods, and I am grateful the fight is over. I can go home now.

My eyes open and the first person I see is Leli. My head is in her lap, her fingers stroke my hair. I hear Banal'ras and Elgara growl menacingly at anyone who comes near. "Atish'an, da' fens. I am awake." I said. They both immediately stopped and nuzzled me. Leliana kisses me. "Welcome home love." She says. Slowly, Leli helps me stand and they steady me. "Did it work?" I asked. Leli nods and leads me to Sasha.

"Andraste's ashes is a myth. We have a real threat here. The Blight. We shouldn't waste time looking for a myth." Morrigan says. "What choice do we have? Isolde has a solid lead, we should go see Brother Genetivi. If there is a chance that her ashes do exist and they can save the Arl, we should take it." Sasha says. "Creators. More bickering. Sometimes it feels as if this all we do. Perhaps Sasha, you should not have given the party permission to speak their minds." I said irritated.

They all look at me shocked. "This is how I see it. Sasha is the leader. Every decision she has made has so far worked out and been for the best. Even if we disagree, ultimately it is her decision. I for one will trust her." I said. "You objected to going into the Fade." Morrigan points out. "Indeed, I did. But I still went. I didn't waste precious minutes or breaths arguing with her. You like to remind us, that we do have a timeframe. Yet, we all spend far too much time bickering." I said.

"That said, Where to?" I ask. "Denerim. That is where Brother Genetivi is." Sasha says. Morrigan looks like she wishes to argue again. I look at her. "I object to this, but I will go along. If for no other reason, but to say I was right." She says. Sasha to wants to retort. "Let it go Sasha." I said. She sighs frustrated, and assigns us tasks to get ready to go.

I catch a glimpse of Alistair heading towards the dock, alone. I look around and see no one notices. I begin wishing there was a way I could communicate with my wolves to have them keep watch over him. Alas, there was not. I followed him. I stayed back a bit in case he may have been going to rendezvous with Sasha. I turn the last corner, blush at the memory of Leli and I making love here.

"Alistair?" I ask after five minutes and a couple of heavy sighs later. He doesn't even seem shocked. "Hello Phaedra." I approach him curious, _"Did I make too much noise?"_ I wondered. He points to an abandoned boat. Banal'ras and Elgara are sitting up and staring at me. "They were sleeping over there, until they sensed you. I saw them from the hill." He explained. "Wow, you are a lot more observant then I thought." I said.

"Just because I act like I am unaware, doesn't mean I am not. Why do you think I have been exaggerating my sighs? I need someone that is not Sasha to talk to." He says and sits on the fallen tree near where Leli and I had our naked tumble. "Then, I am here to do so. What troubles you my friend?" I asked. "The Fade and Goldanna." he says. I nod for him to continue.

"In the Fade dream. I had admitted that she was the woman I loved, but she hasn't said anything about it. I don't know if she is doing that for my sake or hers. I wonder if she loves me too, or if I am just a distraction for her." he says. "Well, is she the woman you love?" I asked. "I said she was. Didn't I?" he asks. "In the Fade, you did. But what about here in the real world?" I ask.

"Does it matter where I said it? I said it shouldn't that be enough?" he asks. "The Fade, is the land is dreams or nightmares depending on the person. Leliana said a lot of things to me in the Fade. I wondered if she meant what she said, until she said it for real, outside of the Fade." I said. He seems to get it, I hoped anyways.

"She does not bring it up in case I didn't mean it?" he asks. "Yes, and so you didn't feel like you were cornered. Talk to her Alistair. Tell her you love her, things will work themselves out. Now about Goldanna?" I asked wanting to move on from that subject. "Goldanna, she was cruel, heartless and greedy. Sasha told me as much, but she never once said that I didn't need my sister, that she was here for me." He said.

"Alistair, I want you to remember the meeting, the tone of your sister." He closes his eyes. "Okay, now what?" he asks. "Switch places with Sasha, now remember it again. How does it make you feel? This woman whom is supposed to love and accept Sasha for whom she is, and she just wants money. Sasha, the woman you love." I set the board and he did as I thought, yelled and struck a tree with his sword.

"She was angry and hurt for the way Goldanna treated me. But she was still my sister and I would have been hurt if she had killed her. Come to think of it, she did make that tight face. The 'I am extremely pissed off, but I can't kill the object of my anger look.'" He said. His hand came to his neck to rub it bashfully and like he finally realized he was being an idiot. "I should go find and talk to her." he says. "She's up at the windmill." I told him. "Thanks, Phaedra." He said and hugs me.

"That was rather touching my love. I had no idea you had felt that way about my words in the Fade." Leli says. She wraps her arms around me and kisses my shoulder. "Then again had our roles been reversed, I would have felt the same." I turn to her and kiss her. "At least, we figured out quickly." I said. "Very true mon amour. Shall we grab some supper and retire for the evening?" she asks. "Yes please." I said. She takes my hand and leads me to the inn.

We were sitting with the rest of the party, all but four were there. The wardens, Morrigan, and Zarola were missing. "Should we worry about them being missing?" Wynne asks. "Hmm don't know yet." I said. "Perhaps we should look for them?" Zevran says. "Leliana, check with the inn keeper, if they have a room, listen outside their door. The wolves and I will search for Morrigan and Zarola." I said. "The rest of you walk around town and keep your eyes and ears open." I said being leader for a brief time.

I exited the inn and went outside of town. I whistle for my wolves, it doesn't take them long to get to me. It never did. "Hello my little ones. I am looking for Morrigan, grumpy witch. And Zarola midnight elf, long hair." I said to them. They sit at attention. "Have you seen either?" I asked. They get up and both head in the same direction. The forest near the village. I follow them as they follow the tributary branching off the lake.

It takes 20 minutes to get to a small secluded area and I can see Morrigan bathing, the full moon shining on her. I look around and find Zarola watching from in a tree. I feel the wolves nudge my hand, wanting orders. I point to Morrigan and signal to go to her. I sneak around and up the tree. I grab Zarola and move her just as an arcane bolt strikes where she just was.

"Are you testing me Phaedra? Seeing if I am aware of my surroundings. Tis not like you have never seen me naked before." She says. "Always Morrigan. You should always be aware." I reply. Zarola smartly stays quiet. I see Elgara and point to Zarola and signal to escort her away from the scene. I whisper loud enough for only elf ears to her. "If you value your skin, go with Elgara. Morrigan does not take kindly to peeping." She nods and follows Elgara.

I headed to Morrigan and she hands me her soap rag and moves forward. I remove my clothes, except my small clothes. I begin scrubbing her back. "Zarola is lucky you were there. I saw her when Banal'ras came up to me." She said. "What will you do?" I ask. "Nothing, I liked that she was watching. It would seem I am attracted to her. Which, is odd since I have only ever liked men. It will be an adjustment. But the idea of her and I, does not offend me, it makes me feel desire." She admits.

"Wow. That is not what I expected." I admit. "You and me both. Not a word to anyone." She says. I looked at her. "I do not count the bard. I would not expect you to keep anything from your mate." She says. "Mon ange?" I hear Leli say. "Down here love. Washing Morrigan's back for her." I said. She comes through the trees Banal'ras at her side. "Elgara is babysitting Zarola." I said.

She sits on a log near us. "Why? Is she untrustworthy?" She asks. "Only with her eyes on Morrigan." I said. "And she still has her skin?" Leli asks. "Yes. I find that when I learned she was watching me it sent a thrill and jolt of desire to me. I am done Phaedra. You can explain. Goodnight Ranger and Bard." She says putting her clothing on.

She leaves and Leli too dresses down to her small clothes. "The Wardens are re-consummating their relationship." She says wrapping her arms around me again her hands splayed over my abs. "Is my songbird wanting to sing again?" I asked her lustfully. "Always and only for you my love." She replies. I kiss her lips and pick her up. Her legs wrapping around my waist. I carry her out of the water and press her back into a tree.

An hour later, we are sated and head back to inn. We spent our gold on a room for us, we were sure morning would come before we left. We might as well enjoy the many offers a bed gave us while we could. Another tumble makes three times we have made love today. And as we always do we drift of together.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: My apologies, this is the longest chapter of this story. I would rather not go back through the whole thing, and copy and paste it into two chapters or more. One more chapter after this and Ferelden Nights is done.**

* * *

Skipping over our mostly boring trek back to Denerim. I say mostly boring, because in between the three couples, myself included making loud love every night and few skirmishes along the way it was tame. When we spoke to brother Genetivi's assistant warning bells shrieked at us. But we were always prepared for an ambush now, we still followed the trail.

The trail led to the Spoiled Princess pub at the Lake Calanhad docks, which yes, we were ambushed. "I say we should speak to the assistant again." Zarola said. Morrigan nodding her agreement as she held Zarola's hand.

"You know he was rather insistent, that we don't go into any other room. I call the real assistant dead in the very back room." I said. "I think I will agree with you Phaedra. You are normally right, about such things." Sasha says. We head back to Denerim, slightly peeved at the goose chase. Morrigan has done well to keep her 'I told you so' to herself. But it was plainly visible in her smirk.

"Totally called it. The real assistant is dead in the back room." I gloat. "Mon ange, gloating is not an attractive quality." Leli says. "You still want me." I said having become even more adept at understanding our emotional connection. "Not the point." She says crossing her arms over her chest. I kissed her cheek. "Alright, I will be nice." I said. She uncrosses her arms and hugs me.

"Whatever must be done, needs to be done soon. The Horde is getting louder, and Eamon is not getting any better. Maybe we should split up, half of us go to Orzammar, the other half to Haven." Alistair suggests. We were impressed at his growing confidence in leading.

"For once, I agree with the buffoon." Morrigan says and makes the bad taste look. We laugh a bit, and Alistair blushes, just realizing he was acting the leader. "Okay, so who will go and who will stay?" Sasha asks herself that only the elves in the party can hear her.

"Only one Grey Warden needs to speak to Orzammar. Since, Arl Eamon was like a father to me. I will go after the urn rumors. I also know I need a rogue, mage and secondary warrior. Though the mage should be able to heal. Or we take most of the healing potions." Alistair says. He continues to impress.

Sasha, I can tell although impressed, does not like the idea of being separated from Alistair. She sighs heavily, acceptance of the plan in her mind now. "I guess, I will go to Orzammar then. We will need some to guard our camp too. I will ask for 3 volunteers. "I would prefer to stay with the camp and away from more of you, squishy things." Shale says.

"I know you need a mage with healing abilities, but I have been increasingly exhausted and have become a liability in battle at times. So, if I have a choice, camp." Wynne says. "I will stay and keep Wynne safe." Sten said. Zevran seemed put out that he would be required to go with either group instead of staying and to make lewd statements at Wynne.

"Very well, you may stay at the camp, wherever it gets established. Morrigan you will stay with me, since you would rather not be with Alistair for as long as is necessary. Since Wynne, needs to sit out. Phaedra, you can use healing magic and have rogue skills. Up to par with Leliana or Zevran?" She asks to make sure. I nod.

"She is actually more skilled then me as is Leliana. I fight more than I use rogue skills. I am warrior mostly." Zevran admits. "Either way, it means you two will possibly need to separate." Sasha says pointing to Morrigan and Zarola. "Possibly you two as well." She adds to me and Leliana.

"We both need a mage in our party. Phaedra and Morrigan, are the only ones coming. Zarola is a rogue trained by the same woman equal in skill, as Leliana. Zevran, you are more warrior than rogue and Rufus I consider a warrior." She explains her thought process, I had already figured as much.

"So, my party will take more healing potions. Phaedra can craft more potions. So, we will give you more herbs. And equal amounts of both injury kits and Lyrium potions. Zevran and Rufus are warriors. Either one is fine for me. If Rufus goes with Alistair, Phaedra oversees him, since he listens to her." She says.

"The mongrel goes with the buffoon." Morrigan says nastily. Rufus shrugs and sits down next to me. Zevran moves to her side. Now for the Rogues, either will works for me." She said. "May I interject here a moment love?" Alistair says. She nods.

"I do not know if I like the idea of other couples remaining together, while we must separate. But that is petty of me. I suggest drawing straws for our rogues, or flipping a coin. That way fate and luck will decide. Which, I believe will prevent tensions from arising about whom picked whom." Alistair says.

"Well, he is not wrong." Zarola says. "I agree, but we should probably ask a random person to flip the coin." Sasha says. And so that is what we do. And yep, the other couples were separated. Which, I think worked out best, it would foster better teamwork. Plus, it would also give Zarola, a chance to form her own opinion about Alistair and his leadership skills.

I had figured, that Sasha had wanted to help Alistair build up some confidence and stand on his own two feet. To me it appeared she had figured out in the beginning that the Blight would claim one of them. She was determined it not be Alistair. I understood that. If it were a choice between my life or Leliana's I would always choose for her to live.

"Hey Sasha?" I ask as we walk out of the Inn for supplies. "Yes, Phaedra?" she asks. "Do you think you will die in this blight?" I ask bluntly. "It is a very strong possibility, any of us could." She says. "Very true, but I am wondering, when do you think you will die?" I ask. Without thinking she answers. "Before the Blight is stopped…" she says and makes an 'O' face.

"Well, Shit." She says. "I get it, you and Alistair are the two remaining Wardens in Ferelden. If you fall, the burden of stopping the blight falls to him." I said. "That, and his father was King Maric. I am also trying to get him ready, in case he is made King. He doesn't want it for himself and I don't want it for him either." She says. "But better prepared then, ambushed by life." I reply.

"Will you do me a favor though?" she asks. I nod. "Help him. Give him support when he needs it, and if he has a good idea. If it isn't, be kind when you tell him so. Explain it too. Another reason, I insisted Morrigan go with me. Any confidence he has gained, she will tear it down." She says.

"She doesn't do it to be cruel, I think she sees his potential, but the world is unkind at times." I said. "I know. That is also how she was raised. Her mother was cruel and bitter. Not even Morrigan knows why." She says. "Also, true." I said we enjoy a comfortable silence and enter the Wonders of Thedas shop. "Ah, found it." She says suddenly. "What?" I ask.

She shows me a remarkable Garnet. "It's a gift for Shale." She says. "Why?" I ask. "Shale was talking about their being nine remarkable gems in Thedas. Shale seemed so animate and happy about it, I wanted to find another for her. You know how I like to see my companions happy, in an uncertain time." She says.

I thought she was crazy for spending that much, but it was her own personal money. We always split up equal shares for any treasure items we have found and sold not needing what was found. The shares were equal but there was another share for purchasing supplies.

We had made good time and gotten about three hours out from Redcliffe Village and established a camp. The wolves ran the perimeter so, we could enjoy a meal together. Shale had come closer, perhaps feeling a bit friendlier do to the gift it/she had been given. I was almost positive Shale was a she. In the firelight, I thought I caught a glimpse of a bright dwarven woman shaped light in the stone shell. I shook my head.

"Mon amor, are you well?" Leliana asks. "I am Ma Vhenan, I just thought I saw…. Never mind I am very tired, and I have second watch and should try and sleep as much as possible. I have a feeling sleep will become harder to achieve when we head to Haven." I told her. She kissed my cheek, and then my lips softly. "Alright, I know there is more to it, but you can explain another time. Sleep while you can mon ange, because you won't be when you return from watch. I feel the familiar shiver of desire.

My elven ears hear a discussion. "I just do not understand why we have to split up now. Haven is on the way to Orzammar." Zarola complains to Alistair. "I know, I considered it, but here is what happens if we all go to Haven together. We get there, someone will need help with something, that Sasha, being Sasha can't ignore or say no to. We lose more time and the Darkspawn Horde takes over Thedas." He says.

That was true, it did always seem to happen and we all can feel the crunch of time. "Are you saying you wouldn't help someone in need?" Zarola asks. "Not at all, but we need allies. We need the Dwarves, Humans and Elves on our side to even stand a chance. No one knows what is going on in Orzammar. So, one of us needs to go. But if we can't find the ashes we may not get the Humans." He says.

He was full of surprises. "And as much as I hate the taste of these words in my mouth; Morrigan is right we do not have time to help everyone we can and gain allies from the treaties. Did Morrigan tell you all we had to do to get the elves help, even before helping others?" he asks. "She did. I guess I can understand it's just…" she started.

"You found love, real love and you are afraid to lose it or be apart from her." He finishes. Very astute Alistair discern the real issue first. "Zarola, I understand, I do. Do you think I want to be away from Sasha or Phaedra from Leliana?" he asks.

"This is what I have learned in life. Sometimes, you have no choice to be away from your loved ones. You have family, yes?" he asks. "My father and Uncle though I am angry at them. My cousin Soren although he has been imprisoned in my stead, and my cousin Shianni." She says.

"Currently, are you not away from them?" he asks. "Yes, but it's different. They are family." She says. "Morrigan, is… my heart." She says. "And Sasha is mine." He says. Zarola growls unable to get her point across. "Are you worried, you will lose Morrigan somehow or to another, if you are not together?" Alistair asks. She goes quiet, I could not believe that I missed that. Go Alistair.

"Zarola, true love isn't true if you don't trust the one you love to remain the one you love while apart." He says. "But what if she dies, because I am not there to protect her?" she says. "What if you die, because you are not with her? Stop living in the land of what ifs Zarola. I saw her mother turn into a high dragon, I am sure Morrigan could too. Have you ever fought and killed a high dragon?" he asks. "No." she replies. "I have and we barely survived. Morrigan is a powerful mage, and a survivor. Death will not find her easily." He says.

"Phaedra, are you awake?" she asks me through the tent. "I am. Yes. I heard the conversation. Not my fault you were outside my tent." I reply. "We have second watch together, in about two hours, can we talk?" she asks. "Yeah. Come in." She lifts the flap and comes in. She sits next to me on the unfurled bedrolls made into one. "Do you worry about being apart from Leliana?" She asks.

"Yeah, but it's not the first time we had to be apart. It still scares me every time though." I reply. "What are you afraid of more, her leaving for another or dying?" she asks. "Both, Equally. Love is complicated and oftentimes can be frustrating." I said. "How do you handle it?" she asks.

"By cherishing each day, I have with her. Look at the world around us, we are all on borrowed time. Live and love each day. That and I trust Leliana explicably." I said. "I want to trust Morrigan, but it is hard. Life and love have not been kind to me, then after Marjolaine. How can I truly trust anyone?" she asks.

"Instincts. Did you honestly trust Marjolaine whole heartedly?" I ask. She shakes her head. "Trust takes time to build, but you must give a little a little to get a lot." I said. We step outside to stretch, it was time for our watch. "Think about things." I said. Leliana and Morrigan passed us and we each got a kiss from the women we love.

During our watch we were observant, but still would converse. "Did you trust Leliana right away?" she asks. "Nope. Everyone in our camp, I did not trust immediately upon meeting. Even Rufus, but it was more due to his human then him." I said. "It did not take long for you trust Morrigan, was that immediately?" I asked.

"No. She is human, and from far away looked like Marjolaine." She said. "Do you remember my first night in camp?" she asks. "You blatantly refused help to set up your tent, or share another even though it would be very cold that night but then you woke beside a small contained fire." I replied. "Would it surprise you to know, I didn't know how to start a fire?" she asks.

"A bit, but I saw your house, there was a fire in the fireplace." I said. "Shianni started it for me. I could maintain it, but not once start it. Morrigan set it up while I was sleeping, knew her footsteps. She also dropped an extra blanket over me." She explains.

"And this made you begin to trust her?" I asked. "No, it confused me completely. It was what she said next that gave her a kernel of my trust." She explains. "What did she say?" I asked. "I asked her, **'Why?'** She didn't try to say I could trust or not trust anyone. She said. **'Tis simply a matter of my comfort. It does not mean I trust or like you. I would just prefer not to see a frozen corpse first thing in the morning.'** With that she went back into her tent." Zarola explained.

"That does sound like her, but I was thinking more along the lines of **'Tis stupid and foolish to suffer the weather when you could just as easily sleep with a dagger. I do.** '" I shared with Zarola. "She did, the next night." We began chuckling. "When did you start to trust Leliana?" She asks me. Maker, I had to think. It had felt like always, but I knew that was not the case.

"I was not stubborn, slept in her tent and did sleep with a dagger as did she. But when did trust begin, that is what you asked." I said giving myself time to really remember. "The first time we met, Leliana had an arrow pointed at me ready let loose at any time. Even while I explained, why I had been looking for the Grey Wardens' camp. A clan member had been blighted, I needed to find Duncan. He was a grey warden and knew how to not save her, but give her a chance at life. When they told me about Ostagar and not knowing how to help, I left to return to my former clan." I explained.

"That would make me trust her less." Zarola says. "It did, when I stumbled back on to their camp a week later after being exhausted from traveling, she again held the arrow to me, until Sasha told her to put it down. I had been badly injured and passed out afterwards." I said. Zarola seemed to be getting impatient.

"Alright, sorry. Anyways, trust began when she put down the knife." I said. Zarola glares at me. "What? You wanted me to get the point." I said. "But why did she point a knife at you?" She asks. "It had been the fourth night at camp and the fourth night of no sleep. I had begun to hallucinate, in a moment of clarity, I remembered I had a sleeping potion in my bag." I said.

"It wasn't your bag, was it?" she asks. "Nope. It was hers and I had been rummaging through her small clothes to find it, because that is where I usually kept it in mine. I remembered thinking these small clothes did not feel like mine. It was dark the dim light of the fire was all there was. So, in my sleep deprived mind I put them closer to my eyes." I said.

Zarola grinned. "She thought you were sniffing her under garments." She starts laughing. "She tackled me and held her knife to my throat. She asked; **'What I thought I was doing?'**. I was confused too. **'Uh looking for my sleeping potion.'** I replied. I was too weak to fight her. **'Why would it be in my small clothes?'** She was still furious." I shared the amusing story.

It still made me laugh. "What happened next?" she asks. "I told her they wouldn't be that is why I was looking in my bag. She kept the knife at my throat and searched mine. **'This is a poison. Do not lie!'** I explained that only in large doses. She stared into my eyes. They were cloudy with exhaustion. Then stupidly I said to her. **'You have pretty eyes'** she was taken aback. **'You really must be tired'** she said. She put the knife down and handed me the vial. Saying **'We will not speak of this again'**. She still hasn't." I concluded my story.

"Wow, you seem to remember that well. When I am that tired, I black out and remember nothing." Zarola admits. "You are lucky. I remember everything. Every damn thing. The stories I could tell." I reply. "Oh please tell me more?" she asks. "Another day. Our watch is almost done we have lovely lady arms waiting for our return." She smiles. She begins bouncing on her heels. As soon as she sees Zevran she speeds away. "I wish I had a bosom buddy to return to." Zevran comments adding a wink. "Still not going to happen." I reply and walk away as I see Sten walking up. He nods in my direction and passes by.

As soon as I enter the campsite I hear Morrigan moaning Zarola's name. "That didn't take long, I commented as I entered Leli and my tent. "No. And it is wreaking havoc on me. I need you now Phaedra." She says throwing the blanket off her. I see her glistening sex and remove my clothes as quickly as possible. "As my lady Nightingale commands. So, do I obey." I said as my lips get right to work on her lips, neck, and nipple whilst my other hand sought out her sex.

The sounds from the tent on the far side almost break my concentration. Leliana stills my hand just as my fingers thrusted back in to her. "It is like they are trying to be louder, or something." She says. "I don't know. But they are ruining the mood." I said pulling my fingers from in her. She grabs my hand. "Do not stop. We will just have to louder." She gives me that wicked grin and begins pumping my fingers in her to the pace she wants. I honestly did not know who won the screaming match. My sensitive ears felt deaf after hers.

We left our separate ways in the morning, we did not have lingering goodbyes. If we had we wouldn't get what we needed to do, done. We traveled well, the first couple of days, was mostly me speaking to both Alistair and Zarola. On the third day, they began to talk amongst themselves and we had a few group conversations.

We came to a small hamlet, not too far from our destination. "Why are we here?" I asked. "I had reached out to some of my templar contacts that were in Denerim. I am trying to locate Sasha's brother. I heard he was here, but injured badly." Alistair explains. This was probably the actual reason for splitting up earlier. He didn't want to get her hopes up.

He knocks on the door inquiring about both Fergus Cousland and Brother Genitivi. "Aye, I saw the brother, asked if he could help the lad that ended up at my door step injured. He looked at the lad and said he didn't know much about healing or tending to injuries. But he could clean it and stich him up." He says.

"I am a healer; may we see him?" I asked. He looked at me dubiously, and Zarola the same. "Sir, do you have a problem with my companions?" Alistair asked. "No. I just have never seen an elf so close. the only ones I have ever saw have those tattoos on them. Usually they are pointing arrows at me. I was just wondering, if these two lasses were city elves or Dalish." He says.

"I am neither Dalish or city, but I am only a half-elf." I said. "I was born and raised in the city. But I do not label myself as that. I am simply just an elf. Why are so curious?" Zarola asks suspiciously. He pulled a couple of books from the shelf even as he led us to the injured man.

One book was written in Dalish, while the other in the elven languages of the city. "Just a fascination. I look at these pictures and I want to know the story behind them, but I can neither speak nor read either of these languages." He says. Zarola takes the book she understands. "Tis' a book of fairy tales and legends." She says. She looks at me. "It will take me at least four hours to get him completely stable and free of infection." I said to both her and Alistair.

"Do it. I will make time for this. It is important to my love. This is her brother." He says washing some grime from his face. I turn to the man and ask for his assistance in a bath barrel for him. I look quickly at the book he has in Dalish. "That one too is a fairy tale and legend book. I will see about making a cipher to help you learn it." I said. "I will do the same for this book." Zarola says.

After removing his filthy stitches, and bathing the Lord Cousland, I used my arcane knowledge to find and eradicate the infection. Then, I cleaned the wound again and cleanly stitched him up. This took two hours. I had to have a break, so I set Zarola to apply the tincture to prevent infection again and aid in healing. She had finished her cipher as best as she could.

While she and Alistair tended to Lord Cousland, I compiled the cipher for the Dalish language. And left him the book, I had been given by my adopted Mother when I was a child. "After all this, and if we manage to stop the blight. Either my wife, I or us both will return for this book. It was gifted to me by mother. Please take care of it." I asked him.

"I will." He said. "Thank you Lawrey." I said back. And as I stated four hours later, we were headed out. The Lord Cousland, was stable and a message was left. Explaining things, and telling him of his family that remained. It was heartbreaking that it would only be Sasha, and enraging still the violation and murder of his wife and the murder of his son.

"I am happy at least Sasha and him, have each other for in the future." I said. "I am happy too, I could at least do this for her. just in case." He says. "You think you will die fighting this blight?" I asked. Déjà vu but with a different view. "It is possible. I mean none of us really know. So, I would just like to get things settled if I can." He says.

"You have a noble heart Alistair, but the good kind. The kind that treat others with respect." Zarola says. "Thank you, Zarola. It means a lot more coming from a friend, then a stranger." He says. "I said no such thing about us being friends Shem." She says. But it is quickly discovered she was teasing him. He genuinely laughs.

It was another two days before we would even see Haven, according to the map. We had made up the four hours by traveling late into the evening. We all missed our loves, but in the missing we grew together.

We did get into a few skirmishes even on the way to Haven, but we quickly learned how to fight together. It was now the night before we were to reach the little village. We were sitting up by the fire, letting the wolves who had grown restless from Leli's absence roam and warn us, before we did our own watches.

"I wonder how they are doing without us?" Alistair asked. "Hmm… Let's see. Leliana is probably content, missing us, but forever frustrated with Morrigan's sharp tongue." Zarola looked at me in concern. "Not like that Zar. You know how feisty and grumpy Morrigan can be." I said. "True. But I am sure my Morrigan is going mad with the chantry sister and the perverted elf." I chuckled.

"Sasha, is probably barely dealing with it and has no doubt been roped into some sort of arduous task to obtain dwarven allies." We did all agree on that, it did seem standard. Save us from the blight, but we cannot help you until our shit is handled. So, do that first.

LELIANA (POV) After separation.

"Please do not tell me you two will be incessantly whining about missing your lovers. I think I may kill you long before we get to Orzammar. Blight be damned." Morrigan says to us. We look at her offended. "Morrigan, we aren't insipid children, and besides we have all been separated from our loves before. Who's to say you won't be the one whinning." I counter attack.

"Maker, please do not let this be an Omen of the trip to the Dwarven City. Because if it is, I will abandon these two and go alone." Sasha says loudly. We apologized and agreed to contain or razor word exchanges. "Thank you." She replies.

But of course, the gates of Orzammar are locked, a few of Loghain's men were demanding entrance. Sasha confidently strides up to the Dwarf gate guard. "We have Grey Warden treaties, urging the Dwarves of Orzammar for their aide." The men look at her and a fight ensues, the victory goes to us as usual. "I will let you in, but I do not believe you will get much help. Orzammar is in a deadlock, we need a new king to help. We have two people going for it. It is split down the middle. Good luck Warden." He says and opens the doors for us.

It was amazing to see such a city underground. It was beautiful in its own way. I told Sasha as much, I expected a comment from Morrigan, but she was quiet. Her eyes focused on something Sasha's eyes focused on what Morrigan was seeing. I was curious, but then the cutest little bunny-pig thing caught my attention. "What are those?" I asked pointing to it. "A nug, I believe. But this is the first one I have seen not roasted with an apple in its mouth." Sasha says.

"That is horrible, they are far too cute to eat." I said aghast. "Dogs can be too, but they still get eaten sometimes. You gotta eat. as horrible as it sounds, Nugs are quite delicious." Sasha says to my horror. But thinking about it, I have eaten dog before, only because that was what was being served. I had considered not eating meat at all, like the elves do. Except Phaedra and Zarola, they ate and liked meat.

"I kinda want one, they are cute. Maybe after the blight." I said. "Maybe." Sasha says. We headed to the tavern that was suggested for us to stay in. Sasha, had decided to check out this assembly. But she had figured just one of us was enough for now. After, making us promise to behave, more like swear on the women we love, she left us to settle in. Zevran, wanted food first Morrigan and I just wanted a bath.

"Do not let your gaze linger long Bard." She warns. "Nor you witch." I said. We both harrumphed, like we would ever want or desire each other as such. Besides, Phaedra was the best specimen to stare at. To her Zarola was. We agreed to disagree, we saw them with love and desire in our eyes. There would be no agreement.

"So, before we left them, were you two trying to be the loudest couple?" I asked lightly. "Oh, please like anyone could hear us over you and Phaedra." She retorts. "So, we won then?" I asked. "I have no idea what you are talking about. Zarola is an extremely proficient and talented lover. And by your shrieks, I would say Phaedra is too." She says. I grin and that is all the confirmation that is needed.

By the time we finished our baths, even begrudgingly washing each other's back, Sasha had returned and had asked us to convene in her room. "From what the assembly has told me, King Aeducan, had died recently. Some say because of heartbreak at what had happened to his family line, others say his son Behlan murdered him. And still others believe his general Harrowmont, killed him to cease power. One of those two, need to be crowned king before any aide can be given." She explained as briefly as she could.

She began running a bath. Zevran seemed to be getting excited. "Honestly, I hate politics of any sort. But there needs to be a king or we won't get allies. I personally, do not care who is crowned. Neither seem, decent from what I had heard. Merchants sure do like talking if you have coin." She hands a package to Morrigan.

"Open it later. I need a bath, so everyone out." She orders. We follow, and I am curious about the gift. She opens it in the hallway. It was a beautiful golden mirror, not overly fancy. But it was beautiful in its simplistic design. "I cannot believe, she remembered. I saw it earlier. I was going to purchase it when we left." She says. I was even more curious.

"Remembered what?" I asked, hoping in her distracted mood she would answer me. "A foolish story from my childhood. I had found one like this when I was wandering. It belonged to noble woman. I stole it from her carriage while she slept. My mother caught me hiding it. She called it vanity and weakness, then smashed the mirror." She says. But that was all she said before excusing herself.

It was strange seeing her more vulnerable side, even naked as the day she was born, Morrigan never seemed vulnerable. And as curious as I was, I would be kind and not bring it up again. I wondered if Phaedra knew the story about the mirror.

The next day found us, in the deep roads, with a smelly dwarf in addition to our company. He was more perverse than Zevran. He had the audacity to ask if I had worn panties beneath my robe when I was in the chantry. Phaedra, she would have torn him a new asshole had she been here. "That is none of your business dwarf, and if you are going to continue to travel with us after we sort out Orzammar. I would not say those things where my wife could hear. My wife is part elf, so her hearing is very good." I let the threat sit.

"Well, I do not see a ring, and your wife, if she exists is not here. So, suck it up." He said and I heard him snicker at what I guessed was an innuendo. "I think, I may have just thrown up in my mouth." I stated. "I agree with you for once bard." Morrigan comments. "Oghren, my dear dwarf, you are barking up the wrong tree with both, they have turned me down countless times. And I look and smell better." Zevran, somewhat helpfully adds.

"Also, if you want to keep your dwarven balls in place, I would stop those comments to any woman in my camp. Considering, any of them could kill you, most in creative ways." Sasha says. Oghren grumbles, I seriously hope this is as much as we will have to deal with him. But I had faith that if he did come with us, we could seriously improve his behavior. I felt bad for him though, his wife had been missing for two years. I could not imagine, if Phaedra had gone missing and no one cared to help me find her.

We lost track of the days, but once we found some evidence of where Branka had headed, we returned to Orzammar. Oghren, at first was not happy about the idea, but he changed his tune once he could breathe Orzammar's air and see. I had hoped all those times he had grabbed on to us was because of lack of visuality. But, I was not holding my breath. Sasha, had grown testy in the deep roads, even more so. The darkspawns' voices constantly pervaded her dreams.

Her mood improved, with a hot meal, followed by a mug mead and sleep in a proper bed. She did surprise me with a nug. I named him Mr. Schmooples, I wondered how the wolves and Phaedra would feel about him. I adored him already.

We went around Orzammar, apparently, she had been asked for help by several dwarves. She had written a letter to the Circle of Magi and sponsored a young dwarven woman to study a theoretical knowledge of magic, since dwarves could not perform magic. We had been shocked to discover we had been in the deep roads for a week.

The letter gave her permission to send Dagna to the circle. Even the templar's saw the benefit of her studying there. By far my favorite thing other than Mr. Schmooples, was Sasha had helped a chantry be opened in Orzammar. She also proved, a clan of dwarves were noble.

She even convinced the Shaperate to raise the Legion of the Dead to a minor nobility. I felt her disgust at having to lie to Ruck's mother saying he was dead and the tears she wept over his shield. She took no pleasure in the lie, but she did her best to comfort the grieving mother. When, the shield was gifted to Sasha, she at first tried to refuse it. Convinced otherwise, she put the shield on her back, even though she would never use it. She used two-handed weapons.

When asked why she bothered, by Morrigan. "I know, I have no training with sword and shield but I can learn. And I lied to his mother. I should pay penance for that. His shield, will be a physical reminder of that burden." She explained. "Suit yourself." Morrigan says. I however, thought it was noble and kind of her.

After trying to figure out what to do with Schmooples, I decided that I would rather he not be eaten. And there were many hungry looks from the Dwarven people. So, he journeyed with us back into the deep roads. Morrigan ignored him, but it seemed his presence bothered Oghren. Which, to me, was a plus.

He had toned down his downright sexual advances. Which all of us appreciated, we gained a new respect for Zevran. Every time, Oghren got too disgusting in his advances, Zevran would turn it back on him. We were thankful the shadows hid our smiles.

We felt pity for him again, when we learned his wife had first left him for him a woman, then just left him in general. As foul as the dwarf was, no one should hear those bits of news like that. As we got through the madness of Branka and the dead trenches, he became sullener, and had completely toned down his advances.

In the end, Sasha believed Behlan would be better to usher his people into a brighter future. We never did find out if he had killed his family as the rumors stated. I knew, Sasha had been thinking about the commoners, surfacer, castless and Brother Burkel. Orzammar was stagnating, a change was needed. Trade was needed for the Dwarves to flourish.

Alas, it turns out Oghren was coming with us. Well, he would quickly learn, to behave. And maybe become a more decent dwarf. We were to stay one more night and leave early the next day for Denerim, and the landsmeet. I felt Phaedra near, I even looked around for her, but she was nowhere to be seen in Orzammar. I had hoped, I would meet her in my dreams.

PHAEDRA(POV) on the road

We had made it to the temple, slayed a dragon, destroyed a cult, saved Genitivi and passed the temple guardians tests. From what we had seen with Alistair, Zarola and I both agreed he was a sound leader. And if he were to become king, he may falter, from time to time. But he would be a great king, probably the best in a long time.

"Arl Eamon, he suggested we head to Orzammar, and meet up with Sasha. I explained, it was too easy to miss each other that way." Alistair tells us. "Is he kicking us out?" Zarola answers my unvoiced question. "He says he isn't, but the possibility they may need help has arrived. We have been here for a week, waiting." He shares. "Maybe, there is a way, I can see without leaving. I have been practicing fade walking. I am not a fan, but I would rather be sure then leave and end up missing them." I suggested. He nods for me to try.

I had dreamed of her, but I could not communicate with her as I had hoped. The next morning, I sadly reported, I had no luck. "I think, it is because neither myself or the spirit of the Arcane Warrior before, has ever been to Orzammar. I can travel anywhere I have been before." I admitted.

We left that day, the Arl's words worrying us. We picked up the rest of our camp and had asked if they had any news from Sasha and her team. No one had, so we went as fast as we could to the surface gates of Orzammar. Upon questioning the guard, he had said that yes, a group of that description had come in but had not returned yet.

Alistair decided to just wait outside of the gate for now, instead of trying to hunt them down inside. We agreed it was a smarter decision. We also agreed to wait no more than two days then head back to Denerim. We had been lucky, before even a camp was set up. The missing team plus a dwarf and a cute little bunny pig thing came out on the heels of Leliana. Our wolves were faster and ran to her.

My smile could not be contained seeing the wolves as excited as me to see Leli, was just too adorable. "What, no kiss for me mon petite?" she asked. "I figured, I would let the kids go first lest they bite my hand off. And so, whom do we have here to add to our little family?" I asked referring to the now cowering creature.

"Banal'ras, Elgara, leave Mr. Schmooples alone, he is part of our family and managed to survive the deep roads." Leliana ordered and they obeyed. The wolves came up to the dwarf and Sasha. When they looked at Sasha their tails wagged. But the dwarf they were guarded against. "Okay, Mr. Schmooples, and what exactly is he?" I asked. "They are called nugs." She says.

I felt no danger from him, but still approached cautiously. He nudged my hand, it was strange to pet him. He had no real fur. They were course strands of it, but even though cute, I preferred my wolves fur. Or Leli's hair above and below. Desire, rose in me, it rose in her. "Please wait everyone, until we make camp. Alistair, how did your mission go?" Sasha asks.

"It went well my love, we fought a high dragon and dismantled a cult. Genitivi is safe and the ashes were found. I took a pouch and left the rest be. Arl Eamon, will be meeting us in Denerim. And yours?" he asks. "Same as usual, everyone wanted help. But I managed to get both the Legion of the Dead and the Dwarves of Orzammar to fight with us." She says.

"So, the landsmeet is all that is left, for preparation?" I ask. "It appears so. And we have a new person. Oghren, he was, is of the warrior caste. I have seen him fight, he is a real beast. I am glad he is on our side." She says and once reunited we depart many of us hardly being able to wait for 'alone time' with our loves.

We made camp before dusk, and as had become custom the wolves run the perimeter while we share a meal. "You really fought a high dragon? I always thought that you barely ever saw one, until unknowingly you enter the territory." Leli says. "And we probably would have not had to fight it had not Kolgrim, the cult leader managed to drag himself to this gong. He hit it and the dragon came swooping in." Alistair says.

"The battle was insane in a good way. Phaedra was like everywhere, what did you call it Phae?" Zarola says excitedly. "Fade shifting Zar. It's called fade shifting." I answered. "Phae? Zar?" our paramours say confusingly. But Zarola was far too excited to respond. "So, yeah. Phae would Fade shift and disappear and then reappear in a different place, it was like she was going through the dragon and slicing it up. And Al, shit, he was like I don't even know, but his shield bash and strike, left visible dents." She was saying. "The technique is called lunge and slash. And you were awesome too Zar, I mean that throwing poison knives thing was amazing. It literally sundered the high dragon's armor." He said.

Our loves are all confused at our closeness and nicknames. I looked at Rufus. "We can't forget our little warrior here either." I said stroking his head. "You did an awesome job too. You kept all those deep stalkers busy. Those would have made it harder to focus on the dragon." I scratched his head more, and then threw a treat near Sasha.

"So, who made the killing blow?" Oghren asks. "As crazy as it sounds we don't know, Al cut off the head, whilst Zar and I stabbed into its sides." I said. "Well, it looks like you four got closer. I mean Zar, Phae, Al, at least you still call Rufus by his proper name." Sasha said. She was happy, Leliana was curious, and Morrigan appeared jealous or irritated. Possibly, both.

The next morning saw a much more relaxed, Witch, Rogue, Wardens, Bard and Ranger. But poor Oghren was so sore he could not walk. Zevran, hummed happily. I caught up to Zevran. "So, the dwarf is walking funny, did you explore his deep roads?" I asked he laughed. "Goodness no, I didn't even try. I caught him relieving his haft. He is not very subtle. He grunts like an animal. I am happy, because I finally got to place my head on Wynne's bosom. And as I believed, they were magnificent." He says.

"You and Wynne?" I asked, it was strange. "No need to worry for her, if anything you should worry about my physical condition. She is quite feisty, I have the marks to prove it." He says. "No, that is alright. I would rather not see." I said. Still astonished, I looked at Wynne and her peaceful demeanor. She caught me looking and smiled. I am not sure why, but I blushed like crazy.

I had wondered if Wynne and Zevran would become a thing, but both said no. It was just a casual thing. Neither were interested in a relationship. I could respect that, as far as I was aware, they had not gone at it again. Nor did I really want to know. Wynne was older than my mother, but not by much. It would be too weird for me. Since I had come to see her as both mother and at times grandmother.

Denerim, was mostly the same since last time we were here, except for the alienage gate being locked and barred by guards. According to them, there was an outbreak of some sort of plague. Naturally, this had Zarola concerned. She had asked Alistair, to go with her, and myself. Morrigan too of course, even though Zarola would rather not risk exposing her to the illness.

"I am going, and that is final." Morrigan said as we walked out of the inn. I had to fight with my bard to go too. "Emma Lath, I will be fine. Please." I pleaded. She sighed, frustrated and worried. But reluctantly agreed. We had a plan, Leliana would distract the guard, I would fade shift and open small gate in the portcullis. Easily, we snuck in and closed the gate. With a final look at my bard, we entered the alienage again.

"This does not look like a plague is running rampant. Something is off. If there was a plague, there would be no elves out. Even the beggars would be in a deserted building." Zarola observes. We go around the corner and see Shianni, making a fuss. Zarola heads to her directly. "Cousin, what is going on?" she asks.

"Zar, you are here, how?" Shianni asks. I wave at her. "Oh, hello again Phaedra. How are things?" she asks. "Shianni, we can catch up later. What is going on, where is my father?" Zarola asks again. Then we get the story. "We need to get in there, and find out what is going on." Sasha says. "Maybe the back entrance is less guarded." Shianni suggests.

We let Zarola lead, she goes around back and convinces the elven guard to hand his key over and leave. It cost her some gold, but she didn't care. Her father was in there. Upon investigating we saw, that they had been moved to a secondary location.

The apartments that the elves were taken to lead to a warehouse, and illuminated that Loghain was trafficking the elves as slaves to fund a war that had been over for decades. "How about we make a deal? I enhance your abilities and you let this go?" the Tevinter Mage asks Sasha. "How about I kick your asses, and free these people." Sasha says. "I second that." Alistair says. "All in favor, attack!" I shout and quickly we beat him into submission.

He attempts to bribe Sasha again, she ignores him. "He's all yours Zarola. We'll get the other ones." She says. In a matter of moments, they are dead, the elves are free and we have written evidence of Loghain's treachery. "May I accompany my father home, Sash? I know you want to get the landsmeet started." Zarola asks. "Go with your father Zar. We can handle it ourselves." She says.

"Meet me at my father's house, she points to the building it is located." Morrigan looks at Sasha her unspoken request to go with her love, was approved with a nod. "Father, I would like you to meet my other half…" She begins to say as we walk away and head back to the exit. Okay, we stopped and helped a few elves on the way. We exited a building to a large crowd, making walking nearly impossible.

"What is going on?" I whispered to Leli after I reached her, I knew she had felt me coming. "They are getting married." Leli says. Pointing to Zarola and Morrigan. "Wait, what? We were gone only 2 hours." I said to her. "It was not really planned. I think it was the only way Zar's father would drop trying to betroth her again. They are eloping. Her father, he may not look it, but he is pleased." She says drawing my attention to him.

To others without our observation skills, outwards appearance is he is not pleased. But it was in his stance, slightly proud, and in the smile, that was small and almost non-existent. The after-wedding feast was both astonishing and delicious. These people had so little, yet they gave so much. I decided to play mysterious benefactor. I wasn't really using the gold I had acquired on our journey for much, I would give it to them.

After the festivities and going to the Arl's estate, I left again in the middle of the night after a long session of love making. I kissed my bard's bare shoulder, and slid out of bed. Donning black from head to toe I snuck out and into the Elven Alienage again. I went from home to home and slipped them a generous amount of gold. The beggars, that slept in the empty and oftentimes, ruins of homes, were given enclosed shelters and gold hidden on their bodies.

My coin purse and Mana pool now empty, I stuck to the shadows and returned once again to the arms of my heart's desire. She seemed to barely notice the chill from my body, but I know she did because she pressed more of her body to mine, warming it gradually. Soon, I was warm enough, and drifted off to sleep.

The ruckus caused by my activities last night, were not spoken of, at least the gold part, but the crumbling buildings now whole, could not be missed. I had climbed to the roof of the Arl's estate and smiled at the happiness from the village. "You did a wonderful thing last night love, but I wish you would have taken me with you." Leli says.

I gave her a questioning gaze. "I saw through your eyes. You were so happy, I felt it, wondered why, then I was seeing through your eyes." She said. "Ma Vhenan. Ir abelas. I did not focus on controlling my mind's eye." I said. "It is okay. I did not mind. You moved buildings back into place, that was amazing. I did not know magic could do that." she said. "Me either. The elves here, they have it rough, but still they contributed more than they actually could." I said.

"It is like that for all Alienages. Are you going to empty your gold and mana for them all?" she asks. "I might." I said. "Then I shall have to be more frugal." She teases. "I wonder where all the gold will come from. Maybe, I should apply for a job at the Pearl." I tease back, she is not amused. "Not going to happen. You are mine, all mine." She says. "Oh, so the whole threesome with Isabela was a dream then?" I asked.

She blushes. "That was different, I was there and agreed to share for the night." She says flustered. I chuckle. "Perhaps, we could do a two for one special." I said she glares at me and then tackles me and kisses me soundly and possessively. "No. No more sharing." She says.

"Alright, ma vhenan. I am all yours and yours alone, as you are mine." I said. "Agreed. Now come fuck me and consummate the agreement." She says lust heavy in her voice. "It would be my greatest pleasure." I said. I grab her and as we kiss, I fade shift us into our room.

We spend the next few days gathering and listening for anything we could use against Loghain. The landsmeet was the day after tomorrow, and we learned, that Arl Howe, on Loghain's order has made Queen Anora, into a prisoner. "But we are trying to get Alistair on the throne. Why should we rescue this woman?" I asked confused.

"Because, no one should be made a prisoner for no reason. I refuse to leave her in the hands of that monster. And if we don't it would weaken our claim, and strengthen Loghain's. He would just say we knowingly left her imprisoned, or had her imprisoned. To the city, Anora is just missing and Loghain is trying to find her." Sasha says.

I could sense the anger, at the thought of Howe. We knew, he had been responsible for the murders of her family. She had been pleased to know, Fergus was alive and on the mend. Lawrey had been sending her ravens to update her after she had come to see Fergus. He was still unconscious, but his wounds had healed nicely.

Before the night was over, we had infiltrated Howe's home. Killed him, his guards and his Mage. Rescued Anora, Zarola's cousin Soren, and the other Noble prisoners, we suspected Howe was using as leverage. But, unfortunately Sasha had been arrested and sent to Drakon prison. Alistair was pissed. "So, you just let them take Sasha! You could have spoken up and sorted things out, but you just let her get taken." It was hard to calm him but I managed and took him to another room.

"Alistair, right now we have to play nice. But I swear to you, I will go and get Sasha. We need her on our side." I slipped him a note stating it was only a temporary alliance. We only needed her to speak against her father. Then he could have her imprisoned if he became king. And if not, the Queen of Ferelden would be indebted to us. He nodded his agreement and tossed the not into the fire.

He sighs. "I understand, I am just worried about Sasha. What is our plan to rescue her?" he asks. "You will be staying here, out of sight. And far away from anything I might have to do. The less you know, the better." I said and left the room.

While Leliana and Morrigan were arguing, on a rescue plan. I grabbed Zarola and fade shifted out the Arl's estate and she used shadow powder on us. She knew where Fort Drakon was, I could basically go through walls, it would be better, and quicker for us to do this. Knowing my lady love she would come up with some elaborate plan, Morrigan would argue every point. And there was no time for that.

We snuck into the prison without having to kill one person, when we met up with Sasha she had knocked out her guard and stolen his keys. "Looks like you were already on your way. Did you have a plan?" I asked. She jumped a bit. Then jumped again when Zarola popped up. "Anyone else?" she asked. "Nope. We made Alistair stay and disappeared on our loves." Zarola answered.

"Very well, then yes. I have a plan. I do not wish to kill anyone. I figured we could disguise ourselves as guards and escape. It would be slower, but spare innocent lives. I heard there was a group of three soldiers being sent out soon. I know where they are." She said.

We followed her lead knocked out the soldiers, and were thankful they were new recruits and had full helmets. In less than an hour we were outside the prison and on route to Arl Eamon's estate. "What will we do about Anora? She let you get taken." I said.

"Nothing. It was the best course of action. It spared a lot of lives, hers included if it had come to a fight. Ser Cauthrien, is the only woman I have never been able to defeat." Sasha says. "She wants us to support her as queen." Zarola says. "I am not sure that is wise. But I need to speak with her first." She says.

"Why?" I asked. "The nobles love her, and she has been a decent queen. But I need to figure out if she knew or had anything to do with Howe and Loghain's plans." She answers. "Okay. Just so you know Alistair is pissed and wants to lock her up." Zarola adds. "I will speak to him too." She says.

All conversation about what we might do in case Anora was in on their plans, or deposing her as queen were silenced before entering the city of Denerim. Our disguises stayed on all the way into Arl Eamon's estate. Zarola and I got a smile from Alistair, then glares from our lovers, then a kiss from them and a smile.

"This running off, and not saying anything needs to stop love." Leliana says. Morrigan nods in agreement. "Well, you two were arguing, non-stop, how could we?" Zarola asks. To that they have no answer. Sasha, calms Alistair, thanks us again and goes and speaks to Anora.

Hours later she returns. "Anora, says she had no knowledge of her Father's or Howe's misdeeds. I have agreed to support her position as Queen." She says. "A Therin, should still be on the throne." Eamon says. "I have told you before, I do not want to be King. Stop pressing the issue." Alistair speaks up.

"Al, I do not want to beg you to do this. But under her rule, my people suffer. The nobles take us and use us as they see fit. We struggle to have food on the table." Zarola says. They contemplate this. Did they not see the suffering of city elves? I wondered. "Perhaps we could speak to Anora. Maybe she is unaware of the suffering we have seen?" Alistair says and goes to speak to her.

Curious about the conversation we follow him. It was still amazing his lack of awareness in cities. "So, you will do nothing?" he asks loudly. "I cannot, I would if I could, but those kinds of changes take time and many would disagree. We have no reports of mistreatment. There is nothing to support those changes." We hear her say and I must hold Zar back and gesture for her to listen.

"There are no reports, because they are either too afraid to report it or figure you just don't give a fuck about them. They are elves but they are still our people. They are citizens of Thedas and have a right to fair treatment." He argues back. "They do get fair treatment, most of the problems and violence on humans are from elves, not to mention most of the wars that Thedas has gone through were of Elven make." She says.

"So, we are supposed to punish them for crimes their ancestors have created. By that logic, Orlesians should be submitted to the same treatment. Your Father fought against the Orlesians, he still holds it against them. This is what all this treachery began, your father's fear and madness of Orlesians. You are just like him!" he screams and we scurry as he slams the door in anger. Muttering he would find a way to remove her after the blight.

We follow him again as he returns to the Arl's study where Sasha and a Grey Warden from Orlais we had freed with Anora were speaking about him. "I know you love him, but if he marries Anora, it solves all of our problems. It would be better for Ferelden. The needs of the many should outweigh the one or two." Eamon says. "Fuck that! I will not marry that bitch. She doesn't give a shit about her people that aren't nobles. The elves have suffered under her and she blatantly refuses to do anything!" he shouts.

Sasha grabs him before he loses it completely. We follow them again, this was too good to miss. "Al, I do not like it any more than you do, but it does solve our immediate problems. We need her voice against Loghain. She will only provide it if we don't try and depose her." she says. "And what of us?" he asks quietly.

"Al, there is still a chance neither of us will survive this blight, but you need to survive. You know what your people need, you can lead. Marry Anora, after the Blight. Stay alive my love, our friends need you. And I need you to be alive." She says. There is a tender embrace, and reluctant agreement from Alistair. "You will need to speak with her, I cannot. Not right now." he says pushing away from her.

We did not follow her. Alistair needed us more. We knew she could convince Anora to marry him. "I figured you heard it all." When we he sees us. "Did you mean what you said, about helping my people?" Zarola asks. "I did. It isn't right, and I will make sure there are changes." He says. We hug him. "I suppose, I should apologize to my betrothed." He says, he too knows she would succeed.

We walked with him for support, until he reached her door and we shrunk back into the shadows. "I apologize, your majesty. But, I do have friends, good friends from the Alienage, more like family really." He says. "I understand, I am not saying, I would not change things, if I could. I just haven't found a way yet. Your paramour has spoken with me. I do agree a marriage between us could unite Ferelden, together we could heal her." she says.

There is a moment of silence. "And I would like to say, though we are to be married, that need not mean you and Sasha cannot be still. I have no problem sharing my husband, or our bed with another woman. But as long as it remains, we are the public face of royalty. An open relationship, suits me fine. It would be better than being cheated on constantly." Anora says. And we know, that Alistair and Sasha are as shocked as we are. "I will agree to your terms, if Sasha is okay with that arrangement." Alistair says.

"Provided, I live, I can live with that." Sasha says. Zar and I look at each other with a 'Whaat.' Expression. We walk away quietly. "I knew Sasha liked women too, but that was unexpected." I said. "How would that even work? I would kill anyone who touched Morrigan, and she would do the same." Zar says. "Leli and I have had another woman in our bed once. It is possible, but it will take a lot of trust, understanding and compromise." I said.

"Yeah, still not going to do it." She says. "That is between you and Morrigan." I said. "Would you share your bed again?" she asks. "I do not know. Are you offering?" I asked. She looks at me in horror. "I just said, I wouldn't share. Weren't you listening?" she asks. I crack a smile, so does she. "I honestly do not know. If it came up and we agreed, probably." I clarified.

We continued walking separating at our rooms, tomorrow was the landsmeet. We had everything as ready as we could. Now, it was up to the masses. But, afterwards, all the preparations would be complete, and we would begin our wait to fight the Arch Demon, wherever it landed.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Final chapter of Ferelden Nights. I hope everyone has enjoyed reading it. It was a labor of love, and I enjoyed writing it. There is a line from Amy Lee's Love Exists. 'Stop standing on the edge' the song belongs to her. i just like the Lyrics and always pictured a scene with Leliana. So, i added it. please check out the song if you want it is so very beautiful.**

* * *

The landsmeet, had gone better than expected. There was almost unanimous support to our arguments, and the proof we had. Loghain, was unable to bow out peacefully and challenged Sasha to one on one combat. "Be careful Sasha, Loghain is a powerful fighter. We may have won every single fight we had been in. Do not under estimate him." I told her my observations.

The duel lasted 15 minutes, with Sasha as victor. This is where we ran into a debate. Queen Anora wanted her father to live, but undergo the Warden's ritual. Alistair refused, and said he would not let the man pollute the Wardens. She tried suggesting the people decide, but they were evenly matched with yeses and noes.

With a resigned sigh, Sasha executed him. Anora remained true to her promise to wed Alistair after the blight. But killing her father, may have caused the end of Sasha's relationship with Alistair and what had begun as the relationship between her and Anora.

I snuck into Anora's room and hid in the shadows. "You killed my Father, how am I supposed to be ok with us being an us now?" She asks Sasha. "He caused the death of your husband, did Cailan mean so little to you?" Alistair asks. "Al. Please, your anger isn't helping. I love you, but please go and help Eamon plan." She says to him. He nods and walks off.

"Anora, I took no pleasure in your father's execution. But Ferelden needs you and Al. He is a good man, a strong leader, but you know nobility and courts. You both will need to work together for the country we love. I held no hatred for your father. I was confused of his actions, and it would be easy to blame him for the violation and slaughter of my whole family. But it was Howe's men." She said.

Anora did not look moved. "Anora, look at me please. I know we barely know each other, but you feel or felt the connection we had." She says. Anora faces her, tears threatening to fall. "I do not expect forgiveness, if I live through this blight, I will have to live with Loghain's blood on my hands. I only ask, you try and understand. Your father, though once a noble and proud general, he has harmed your people, more than was shared at the landsmeet." She says.

She handed her a battered journal and a roll of papers I had known nothing about. "My Father's journal, and what are these?" she asks referring to the bundle of papers. "Reports and complaints not given to you, are some. There are others sealed shut with your father's seal. A note to was attached to it." She handed her the note. "This, is who Loghain Mac Tir really is. R.J." she says. "Red Jenny." Sasha replies.

I know of the organization, as does Anora by her look. "You know Red Jenny as do I. I ask that you support Alistair, but tell him kindly if and why when you do not agree with him. Because they will be times when you don't. Do not judge him for his reaction to your father, judge him by his own merits. Just as you asked us to not judge you by your father's actions." Sasha says.

She almost runs into me on her way out. I wanted to read those things. The first thing Anora reads are the bundles of paper she was given. I judge by her reactions what the paper elicits in her. I only grow more curious. She reads them quickly, and sets them aside. She picks up the journal, she only gets half way through it before covering her mouth tossing it to the side and running out.

I pick the papers up, dozens of reports on Elven assaults, most are about nobles. I feel Leli coming and place my finger on my lips. I show her the reports and she read them. She wavers a bit, no doubt memories of her imprisonment flaring. I steady her, and sit her down on the seat Anora vacated not long ago. I pick up the journal, making sure to keep my finger on the page she that landed on the floor.

I did not think it was possible, but the journal contains even more disturbing things. I think I hear footsteps and place everything where it had been and grab Leli. We fade shift out as Sasha and Anora come back in.

I coax her to lie down and do my best to replace her horrible memories with gentle and deep love making. We were laying in each other's arms. "I cannot believe how truly despicable Loghain was. Killing her lovers, forcing her into a marriage where she would not be appreciated or even loved. All to control every aspect he possibly could. The Orlesian Game seems like a pleasant leap frog compared to that." Leli says. I nodded in agreement and yawned.

We had decided to speak no further of it and sleep, we were leaving for Redcliffe Village again tomorrow. The signs pointed to the Darkspawn horde going in that direction, and so that is where we would go.

When we got to Redcliffe a small force of Darkspawn already attacking. The force easily removed. "That cannot have been it." I state a runner barges in. "Forgive me my Lords and Ladies. But the Archdemon has been spotted flying to Denerim. A mighty host of Darkspawn following." The messenger says. "How far out are they?" Alistair asks. "A day, maybe two my lord." He answers.

"Even if we leave now, they will get there before us. We still need to send out the summons." Sasha says. "Send the birds, we leave before dawn. Let us pray the gates, and soldiers in Denerim can hold." Eamon says.

Leli and I of course made love like it would be our last night on Thedas. She sleeps comfortably next to me. Not even the knocking on my door rouses her from her slumber. I put on a robe and open the door to a frantic and angry Zarola.

I follow her out and to her room. Morrigan was nowhere to be found. "She put a sleeping spell on me, when I woke to search for her she was in Alistair's room. Riding his cock, I thought she hated him. Why, why Phaedra would she do this to me, to us?" her anger had become tears. "I do not know, but I am sure there is a good reason. She loves you Zar, she wouldn't hurt you intentionally." I said.

"That does not make me feel better Phae." She says. "I am sorry. But perhaps, when this was all over, she will explain." I said. I knew I should be more comforting, or outraged, but Morrigan never did anything without a reason. "Do you even care?" she says, before storming off. I found no rest that night, my mind consumed with regret. I should have said, or done something.

I took solace in the fact that, soon, I would be far too busy to dwell on my mistakes. Zarola, did show up. A rousing speech uplifted the soldiers we had. As we traveled, I escaped my bard to find the rogue I had hurt so much. Morrigan had spoken to her first, I am sure she felt her lover's pain. But Zarola, seemed like she could care less.

"Zar, I know you are upset with me. I can apologize until I am blue in the face. But it does not make right, that I was not there for you last night." I said. She said nothing. "I am not good with this, I have never been betrayed like you or Leli. I stubbornly cling on to the hope, that Morrigan had a good reason. But I am blinded by our friendship." I said.

I was getting frustrated as once again, she did not respond. "There is never a good reason to cheat on your spouse. No matter how you look at it, it was wrong of her." I said. Finally, she responds. "Do you mean that? Or are you just saying that?" she asks. "I mean it. If Leli had done that to me no matter the reason, I would feel like I had died inside, and love was just an illusion." I admitted honestly.

She sighs again. "Okay, I will forgive your insensitivity. I hated being alone. I can't even look at her or Alistair. And I am having trust issues with Sasha. Did she know about it? Did she allow it?" she asks. "Did I allow what?" Sasha asks. "Gah! Curse our excellent teaching skills!" We said together at being jump scared by her.

"Alistair and Morrigan?" Zarola asks. Sasha looks genuinely confused, then her eyes widen. "I can't believe she did that, even after I adamantly said no." She says. "Why did she ask you? Why Alistair?" I asked confused. Sasha sighs and shakes her head.

"I will tell you, but it is a Grey Warden secret. It cannot get out to the public." She says we swear not to say anything. "The only way to end a blight is to kill the Archdemon. We are all aware of that. What the Warden's keep to themselves, is the Grey Warden that does the killing blow, dies to." She told us, and we gasped.

"Morrigan, found a way around this. There is a ritual of magic. If she were to perform the ritual and lie with a Grey Warden, from that union a child is created. The soul of the old god, the arch demon, enters the child instead of the Grey Warden. Sparing their life, but it is unknown what the child would be, other than powerful. Like people, they can be good or bad." Sasha explains.

"And she approached you, why?" Zarola says. "Riordan, was too long with the blight. That is how a Warden gains their abilities. They drink darkspawn blood. If they survive, the blood becomes a part of them. And as you both know, I am a woman, so I wouldn't have been able to either." She says.

"Which left Alistair." We finished her thought. "She approached me, vaguely explained the results. I told her no. Not for jealousy purposes, but because it felt wrong, I have never, nor ever condoned infidelity. Not even if it spares my life. For the past year we have scrambled and fought to end the blight. The child created could become an even greater risk." Sasha says.

"So, Morrigan went against your wishes, and convinced Alistair to complete this ritual?" I ask. "That is how it appears. Wynne had warned me, that this was a possibility. Out of love, we do something normally we wouldn't for the sake of the one we love. The consequences be damned, and boom, the world suffers because of it. I should have listened." She admits.

"No, though it is true, we do stupid things out of love, love is what also keeps us fighting." Zarola says. "Are you just going to forgive her like that?" I ask perturbed after what she put me through. "I don't know. I think I need time to sort it out." She responds. "I am not sure I can forgive Alistair either, for going along with it. Or her for doing it anyways." Sasha says.

Their voices fade away, and I become lost in thought. "You're brooding." Leli says. "I am not, I do not brood." I said. "Yes, you do. And I would bet it had something to do with the conversation you just had." She says.

"I suppose so, I do not know if I can explain it to you. It involves Grey Warden secrets. And I promised Sasha, I wouldn't share it." I said. "I do not think she meant from me love." Leli says. "One sec." I ran up to Sasha. "I promised, I would not say anything. Does that include Leli?" I asked. "No. but only if she keeps it to herself." Sasha replies.

I run back to Leli. "I can tell you, only as long as you keep it a secret." I said. "I am capable of keeping it a secret." She says. I give her a brief overview. "I see, but why does it make you brood?" She asks. "What if we make that mistake. Doom the world, because we love each other too much? Have we done so in the past?" I ask.

"If it was the world or you, I do not think I could make the right decision. You are my world." I shared honestly. She strokes my cheek. "It is the same for me as well. But, If, that decision came down to you. Save the world, and we will see each other again in the afterlife. I would not hold it against you." she says.

It helps but a little. I would continue to pray that the fate of the world never rests on Leliana's life. Because I would let this world burn. I see no redeeming quality, other than Leliana. But I could also not deny her wishes. It was a conundrum.

"The gates are before us. Charge!" Alistair says, and we do. After clearing the initial Darkspawn, we watched the Arch Demon fly back to Fort Drakon. "Taking out the generals, will weaken the horde. Search for them, I will start towards the Arch Demon." Riordan says.

"We'll need a few people to remain here and help hold the gate." Sasha says. "I will stay behind." I volunteer. "I would like to take Leliana with me. I need a good archer." Sasha says. "I know. I will still stay. The people at the gate may need my healing and magic." I explain. My bard knows that I am still brooding about our conversation earlier.

"I would like to go to the alienage if possible. I am worried about my family." Zarola says. Any mention of her wife is wisely kept silent. "Very well, Wynne, are you up to going with her?" Sasha asks. "Hold on a moment. If she needs a mage, you should send me." Morrigan says. "No, I would prefer you remain close, regardless of your 'condition'" Sasha says tersely.

"Sash…" Alistair begins. "Save it Al. We can talk about it, after we kill the Arch Demon. Since, we will have time now." She says with the same terseness. "Sten, I will need you to be in charge here. Oghren, you are second in command." She says.

She kneels in front of Rufus. "Hey killer. I want you to stay with Sten, keep em all in line. I know boy, but up there it will be far too dangerous. I would not like my favorite warrior to get smashed by a dragon tail." She says. He tilts his head and looks at Alistair. "Al and I have some things to work out." She responds to his silent question and scratches his head. He licks her hand and dutifully stands next to Sten.

Before me now is my love, my one true heart's desire. "I expect you to make it through this and wait for me to come back down." She says. I nod and lift my face to kiss her lips, possibly for the last time. I whistle for Banal'ras and Elgara as she walks towards the next section of the city.

"Go with her, make sure she comes back to me safely." I order they nod and both nudge my hand and catch up to walk on each side of Leli. As soon as they make it through the gate another wave hits us from behind. My battle song begins.

After what seems like hours of a continuous stream of Darkspawn. We get a break. As fast as possible I weave my way through the battlefield and heal those I can. By the time I was finished, I was out of Lyrium potions, sitting against a wall. A bottle full of blue liquid enters my line of sight and I look up.

"You must drink this. We know not when they will come again, my friend." Sten says. I nod, and drink it and grip his gigantic hand. "Thank you, Sten. For the lyrium and calling me a friend." I replied. "It is what you are to me. I am still confused about a woman fighting, but I respect your battle skills. You have saved me a number of times." He says patting my back. "More are coming through!" A soldier gets out before an Ogre crushes his body.

Another undetermined amount of time and there was a sound of an explosion, and immediately retreating Darkspawn. I look to the tower and see a pillar of light. "They did it then." I said. I feel a sharp pain and look down to see a sword protruding from my gut. I grabbed the Hurlock before he could escape and crushed him with my magic. My lips tightly closed.

I slump to my knees, and cough out my own blood. I force myself to vomit. The ground meets my face and I fade in and out of darkness. Words are muffled, my vision is blurry. A light pierces my haze. "Mon ange. Please Hold on." The pain makes me sink further into unconsciousness.

The pain I feel when my senses come back, threaten to make me shrink back to the darkness. A warm hand and the smell of Andraste's Grace, pulls me back. I turn my head, breathe in the scent and slowly open my eyes. I see my flame-haired angel, asleep resting her head on my hand. I so dearly want to move, but I cannot.

My throat is dry and hurts, I would swallow my spit, but I fear I have none. It is Mr. Schmooples lifting his head from my knees, and nudging her that wakes her. Her smile is bright when she sees my eyes awake. I struggle to speak again, I cannot. "Water?" she asks. I nod. I lift my head as best as I can, but she pushes me up further to drink.

Now, with my throat cooled and no longer parched, I try to speak again. But again, no words come out. I must have drunk a pitcher of water, but still could not utter a sound. Leli leaves to bring a healer. "She has been trying to speak, and even after a pitcher she still can't" She tells the healer.

"I was afraid, this may happen. The poison on the blade, when she vomited, it must have burned her vocal cords. Has she been able to move much?" he asks her. "Just her head and barely. What is wrong with her?" she asks. "Find me a healing mage, I have no way of figuring it out without them." He says to her. She comes back seconds later, Wynne in tow.

"Are you a spirit healer?" the non-mage healer asks. "Yes." She replies tiredly. "I need a way to see what the damages are inside." My connection to the fade, shows me she is too weak to attempt this. Her spirit of faith too is weak. I shake my head, trying desperately to tell her do not attempt this. "I am still weak, I will need a few more healing mages to assist." She admits.

"But they are back at the tower now." Leli says. "The longer we wait the more chance this state becomes permanent, if it hasn't become that already." The healer says. I shake my head fervently. Hoping my eyes scream do not attempt. I will wait.

With sheer will and determination, I enter the Fade and pull Leliana's spirit in with me. "What have you done?" she asks. "I do not have much time Leli, this is taxing enough to hold with my low mana. Do not under any circumstances let Wynne even attempt this." I said.

"But if she can help, even a little…" she says, and I interrupt her. "She can't help me. She will die Leli, even from just the attempt." I said. "Andraste's Ashes, maybe." She says. "The guardian, he has moved them. Brother Genitivi, was insistent that the world knew of them. We could not kill and innocent man." I said.

"But Mon Ange." She says. "I can wait. Please Leli. For me, do not let her." I could not hold the magic any longer and pushed her out and back in to her body. "I suppose, I could try. Use her magic to bolster mine." I heard Wynne say. "No, Wynne. If you try, in your current state you will die. We will wait for the extra healers." Leli says and I nod in approval.

I spend a lot of my time dozing in and out, drawing strength from the fade. Each time I wake up my Leli is there. When the healers finally get there, they shoo her out. I feel crowded and overwhelmed, but I gulp and suffer through the intrusions. After hours of working and examining I am ok. I refuse to speak to them my first words would be for Leli's ears.

I look for my love through the fade and see her standing on the edge of the tower. I know she has no desire to jump. She just needed the fresh and cool air. I push my healers away and fade step up to the tower. "Ma Vehnan." I croak out she turns to me and smiles. I walk towards her.

"Mon amor. You are better." She says. I nod at her. "Why are you out here? You aren't planning to jump, are you?" I asked. "Of course not. I was just thinking." She says I sit down next to her, our booted feet hanging over the edge. "What about?" I asked.

"You, me, us. We have endured so much. Yet here we are together and in love. The blight is over. We have all lived through this. Sometimes, even as harsh as our journeys to this point have been, it feels like a dream. Sort of." She says.

"How?" I ask. "I wake up, and I see you, I feel you against me. Your scent lingering in my nose. A good scent. Like the forest after it rains. And I feel so moved and happy that this could not be real. It's like, my body is still in that dungeon. But my heart and mind are here with you and our friends." She says.

I think I understand her feelings. She is broadcasting it clearly to me. I put my arm around her. "Such is love. It is vast, unpredictable, very dreamlike." I said kissing her cheek. Silently I get up and stand on the tower proper. "Mon Ange?" she says confused.

"Stop standing on the edge. Take my hand and erase the past forever. My love is you. My love you are." I hold out my hand, she turns and takes my hand and I pull her to me kissing her so deeply she would not be able to dream of the feeling it created.

"Does that feel like a dream?" I asked. "I could never dream up such a kiss, so deeply." She says. "Good. So, the blight is over. The darkness has receded for now. What do we do next?" I asked. My arms are around her waist her arms are on my shoulder. "For starters. A nice long hot bath, followed by a night of lovemaking, then the wedding and reception. Then I want you to come with me to the Valence Cloister and meet the woman who led me to Lothering." She says.

"As my heart wishes do I concede. But you forgot to add we get married and journey throughout Thedas until we no longer can. Then a nice cottage overlooking a lake or sea. Growing old together and finally resting." I said. "Are you asking for my hand in marriage?" she asks. "I am asking all of you in marriage. Talented as your hand is, I want all of you." I said.

"Then, I accept and take all of you in marriage too." A fresh breeze teases our senses and makes us shiver. "Hot bath." I said fighting the urge for my teeth to chatter from cold. We went inside and proceeded to bathe, make love all night. Sleepily we smile and compare our wedding would be like to Anora and Alistair's. Sasha stands to the side holding back her tears of joy.

From what I understand, they worked out their problems. But there was a companion missing. Morrigan had disappeared. Leaving a destitute Zarola in her wake. Leli and I sat her between us comforting her and stilling her tears if but temporarily.

We enjoy the festivities later as best we can. "So, Sasha. What next for you?" I asked when she had managed to escape for brief respite. "I am leaving in a week to take up duties as Warden Commander in Amaranth. The people there need someone to clean up and fix whatever Howe did to them." She said.

She sounded weary. "You seem exhausted. Must you go so soon?" Leliana asks. "I cannot linger long. Who knows what state those poor people are in. I would leave sooner, but I must wait at least 3 days. That is when I am free to be with both my loves. At least for a bit." She says.

"Why not sooner?" I asked. "Tradition. For 3 days hence, wedded couples must make love multiple times to increase the chance of an heir. I have been asked to perform the King and Queen's duties during this time. Because someone has to take care of this kingdom while they are occupied." She says.

"Human nobles are weird." I comment. Leli and Sasha chuckle. "Yes, we are." Sasha agrees. "Do not forget that you too must rest. Do not become overwhelmed and make yourself sick." I said to her. "I won't. Erlina has been instructed not to let me. By order of the King and Queen." She says smiling her eyes no doubt imagining her next time to be with her loves.

"What of you two?" Sasha asks snapping out of her daze. "Leli is taking me to meet Revered Mother Dorothea. We will ask for her blessing to get married." I said. "Truly?" she asks. "Yes. It is not necessary, but Dorothea means a lot to me." Leli says.

"As long as I can be at the wedding." Sasha says. "We would not dream of having it without you. The Hero of Ferelden." I tease. "We are all heroes in my book." She says kissing our cheek and breathing in deeply to face the world and no doubt parade in her honor.

We left mid morning and arrived in Valence in three days. Zarola had agreed to go with Sasha part of the way to Amaranth. But she would be leaving to search for her wife. She deserved answers on her abandonment.

Zevran stayed with the King after Sasha's departure, promising to keep the King and Queen safe. Who better to protect from assassins then an assassin? Wynne left with Shale, promising to return to the tower when her task was complete. Sten went home with Rufus on his heel after objecting to Sasha leaving him in Ferelden. He had earned retirement. As for our dwarven merchants they returned to traveling. Oghren could return to Orzammar as warrior.

We were sitting in a tub in our room in Valence. It was late upon our arrival. Dorothea had already retired for the evening. "I thought you wanted to reconnect with your family in Kirkwall?" Leli asks. "I do, and I will. But this is important to you. And I would love you to go with me." I said.

"As for our wedding?" she asks. "I would like them to be there. Both my human and Elven family. I know the second one may not happen though." I said sadness creeping into my voice. "You never know. They may." She says. I nod and kiss her cheek.

The next six months is the very epitome of a dream. We were happy. I still had not gotten in touch with the Amells in Kirkwall. But I did see Wynne again and my brother. Both were assured they could attend my wedding.

Sadly, I could not find my former clan in Ferelden. I had no idea where they had gone too. I had received a letter from Zarola. She had found her wife and they were going to work on their relationship. After her letter I had been given updates on all our companions. We were in a state of joy when Dorothea became Divine Justinia.

However, my happiness was at an end. After a night of glorious lovemaking, I felt Leliana slip out of bed. She had kissed my cheek and said she would be back shortly. She had felt the need for a hot cider and a sweet roll. I had said I was good. Rolled over and went back to sleep. The next day, I woke up to an empty bed and my love was nowhere to be found.

"Have you seen my betrothed?" I asked a servant. She handed me a sealed letter. When I opened a piece of jewelry fell out and into my hand. It was the engagement ring I had forged for Leli. And nothing else. "I am sorry mistress. I saw her leave, but I could not find out where she went." She said.

"My name is Phaedra. And it is alright. I will find out." I said and went to the woman I knew would have answers. I had no manners and stormed into the Divine's quarters. I had noticed it was the divine's seal. "How dare you!" a guard asked. I flung him to the side. "Where is she? I was given this." I placed Leli's ring on her desk. "It was in an envelop. With your seal on it. Where is she?" I asked again.

Dorothea waved away the guards that had begun to converge. "Leliana is on a mission for me. It is of the upmost importance and a secret. You will only put her at risk. You distract her. She has a higher purpose." She says.

"But you blessed our union. Was that just a lie to make her more complacent to your will?" I asked. "No. Phaedra. It was not. I do bless your marriage." She says. "Then why?" I asked. "I would not have stood in her way. But by her side." I said. She sighs. "I know. But her mission will be hard enough, with her as a hero of the fifth blight. She may need to delve into her past as a bard. This mission must succeed." She says.

"I can find her you know." I said. "You could, if she had not sought a mage employed by me. She has been given a means to hide from you. I urge you please do not look for her. She loves you. You love her. But if you were to look for her. You put her life at risk." She says.

I sigh defeated. The one thing I could never do. Cause harm to my beloved. "Will you see her again?" I asked. She nods. "Give this to her. She need not wear it but, I made it for her with all the love I bear for her. It belongs with her. Tell her, I love her and will wait for her." She nods, and I allow her to embrace me but, so it began. The crushing loss of my lover.

The next day, I made haste to Kirkwall. It was with heartbreak and heaviness I trudged up the stairs to the city. I knew from my brother where the Amell estate was. Sadly, the house stood empty. Or at least I think it did. I asked a guardswoman for a place to stay.

"In Lowtown. There is a place called 'The Hangedman. They will have lodgings." She says. "Lowtown?" I asked. "Come with me, my shift is at end. I will lead you there." She says. I nod and follow behind her. We meet up with a bulky fellow, he seems nice. "Guardswoman Aveline." He greets cordially. I see the look of tentative love in her eyes. "Guardsman Donnec." She says.

They speak a few moments, passing down information. "And what of the young woman with you?" he asks looking at me kindly. "She has just arrived in Kirkwall. I am taking her to the Hanged Man for lodgings." She replies.

"Welcome to Kirkwall Mistress. I am Guardsman Donnec." He says politely holding out his hand to shake mine. I do not get bad vibes from him. Tentatively, I shake his hand. "Phaedra Amell." I reply. "I'm sorry did you say Amell?" Aveline asks. "Yes, my lady." I reply. "Any relation to Gamlen Amell?" She asks.

"I do not know mistress. My Father was an Amell. My mother a Dalish. My brother mentioned a, 'Leandra Hawke'. I came from Ferelden, looking for the Amells." I said. She sighs. "Alright, come with me. There are a few people you should meet then. We are still going to The Hangedman. They are usually there for a game of Wicked Grace by now." She says.

She bids farewell to Donnec and leads me to Lowtown. "I know Leandra Hawke. I count her among my extended family. She is a good and kind woman. I will not abide by fooling her, so, if you are not her kin… I strongly suggest you abandon your plot. Or by the Maker, I will make you pay and then send you packing." She says. I nod in agreement.

I enter the tavern, the familiar scent of stale vomit, urine and ale hitting my nose. It made me nostalgic for Oghren's company again. I was happy he and Sasha had reunited in Amaranth. I had received a letter from Sasha about Oghren becoming a Grey Warden. I could not believe he drank the whole chalice of Darkspawn Blood.

"Hawke!" Aveline yells, from behind the stairs comes a woman, beautiful, eyes of deep sapphire and hair as black as mine own. Her jerkin was crooked and untucked, her breeches open. "Really, must you be so uncouth. Fix yourself. There is someone here looking for your mother." Aveline says.

This seems to sober up and she unwraps pale thin arms, with a distinctive tattoo. I knew that tattoo. "Merrill?" I ask out loud. She looks from around Hawke. "Phaedra? Is that you, truly?" she asks. I had cut my hair shorter, but it should not have changed my looks much. "It is Da'len. It has been too long." I reply.

Her eyes thin and glare upon me. I knew what was coming. I would let her, I did deserve it after all. She quickly walked up to me and the slap to my face stung like hell and had my head jerking to side. This action seemed to both impress and infuriate Hawke. She went to punch me, I grabbed her hand.

"I deserved that from Merrill, which is why I did not stop it. But you do not know me and therefore, I will not allow you to hit me." I said steel in voice. "She is my paramour. What hurts her, angers me." She replied equally steely. "Rilia." Merrill says, and her voice instantly soothes the rage burning in Hawke.

"Fine, I will leave it. But a slap like that warrants an explanation." Rilia says. "And I will tell you later. She came here looking for your Mother. I think I know why. But please, hear her out." Merrill says. "Fine. I need another ale." She says. She heads to the barkeep and I sit in a cozy room. A dwarf, A mage, and a brooding elf sit down around the table.

"By the way you owe me an explanation too." She says. Before sitting next to an empty chair, I had no doubt the seat belonged to Hawke. Aveline stood imposingly at the doorway. When Hawke returned, I told my story from my life with the elves and my exile. Merrill got her explanation. We were getting ready to leave. I had to still prove my claim as family. Leandra would be my witness. But it would wait until tomorrow.

The closed door, burst open. "What have I missed?" I knew that voice too. "Well, hello again Phaedra. Come to relive our night on the Siren's call. But I do not see the songbird." She says leaning over me her gloriously large and inviting breasts pushing into my back. Hawke cleared her throat. Isabela backed off. "She and I have separated temporarily." I replied, my voice cracking a bit.

"So, you are a free agent then. Never mind we can still relive that night. "Isabela. What would Bethany say?" Hawke asks. Isabela seems to change a bit. "Well, it is not like we are together. So, I imagine she would have nothing to say." Isabela says. But her falter there, gives me some insight. "Wow, who would have thought, the infamous booty pirate, almost spoken for." I commented teasingly. Bella throws a knife at me and I catch it easily. She storms out.

I deny their plea to tell them the story of that night, and set up a room to retire. I make sure to lock the door and ward it. Because you never know when a lustful pirate rogue would try and break in. I sighed heavily. "And so, begins my nights in Kirkwall. This should be interesting." I said aloud. With a yawn I lay in the bed fully clothes and armored, just in case. I fell asleep, swearing I could hear my Leli singing Suledin in Elvish.


End file.
